Motors and Me

Nostalgia: GP2 and racing lines

2009-08-27T18:16:00.005+01:00

Funny how songs can bring back specific memories so vividly. Here I am, sat at my computer, and I put on OK Computer by Radiohead. Airbag kicks into life and I'm instantly transported back to 1998, designing my first track using the Grand Prix 2 Track Editor.

Based on the Estoril circuit — as nearly all early tracks were, thanks to its simple pitlane layout — it swept down and to the right from the start/finish straight. The opening bars of Airbag often accompanied this stretch as I popped in a CD before starting play-testing. That first corner will forever be strongly connected with Radiohead for me, which is no bad thing. I loved creating tracks and I still love OK Computer.

The track, I believe, was called Cheviot, named after the hill in Northumberland. This was a highly apt name, as I completely misunderstood the editor's height settings. What I thought was a change in absolute height was actually a gradient change. Consequently, when I tried to make a slight hump four corners into the track, the thing went so steep that your car struggled to accelerate.

Still, I kept it as the track's unique feature and released the circuit to the community. Enough positive remarks came my way that I was hooked and went on to create 3 or 4 more tracks, one of which — Alderley — was even adopted by an online racing team as their test track.

The hardest part of track editing was getting the computer cars' racing line right (known as the “cc-line”). The editor didn't quite display it correctly, so you had to tweak it, then fire up the game, go through the menus to a quick race, and drive it to find where your racing line actually went.

This made it an incredibly painstaking process, but it was essential to get a good track with realistic opponents. With minute tweaks, you could even watch the AI cars' performance and see that they got chicken and backed off if they approached the edge of the track too closely. Put a wide-enough rumblestrip in the right place, however, and they'd drive it like a pro, getting a good exit from the corner. It was these things that made all the difference between a good track and a great track.

Actually, I remain convinced that the rigours of getting a cc-line that worked well for AI cars aided my driving skills in the real world. In karts, on trackdays, and in the Michelin Renault Scholarship, spotting the best racing line for a competitive lap time became second nature. Alas, those days are behind me now, as attested to by my last trackday. My lines were all over the place. :(

Can I get it back? Dunno. But if I am going to, I'll need to:

go karting much more often (I swear I used to go monthly at one time)
buy a different car (in which I can afford to drive fast all the time)

These days, I'm lucky if I go karting more than once a year. And I pretty much never exploit the potential of my road car, due to financial concerns as much as anything. Well, that and the fact I have now have a regular passenger to consider.

So... two more things to go on the ever-expanding to-do list. :(

Depreciation

2009-08-04T22:18:00.000+01:00

A little over 18 months ago, I paid £15,650 for my (then) 4-year old 350Z. Judging by the classifieds on Pistonheads, I'd now be lucky to get £10k for it. Eeek!

Mind, when I first drafted this post back in early April, it was even worse. Some cars of the same age were going for just £8k. Had I sold at that point, I'd have lost almost 50% of the car's value in a little over 15 months. I've never known anything like that sort of depreciation. Maybe for a brand-new car, but not one that's meant to be past its initial rapid depreciation period. It's not even as if I paid over the odds at the time.

Still, it's not worth getting upset about and the market appears to be coming back, albeit slowly. And the launch of the 370Z will doubtless be accounting for part of the value lost in the 350Z. All in all, I'm taking the decision to ride out the worst of the recession before I start looking properly for car #5. Now to get the various mechanical niggles fixed...

Well, well, well...

2009-07-30T21:55:00.003+01:00

Am I prescient or what?

Manager says Kubica now on the market
Kubica, who has been with the team since the 2006 season, had a contract with BMW until the end of 2010, but the team's exit has left the Pole's future in an uncertain position.

However, his manager Daniele Morelli made it clear that Kubica is now open to offers.

Good luck to the lanky Pole. If it weren't for Massa's quick recovery from the spring incident, I'd have said Kubica was an obvious choice for the Ferrari seat, but I'm no longer sure he's going to be needed. Pity.

Jam tomorrow

2009-07-24T17:41:00.004+01:00

My heart goes out to Robert Kubica.

This time last year, he was fighting for the F1 world title. At one stage, he even led the championship. Things were going brilliantly for him, he was driving well and people were saying some very good things about him. Fast forward to 2009 and where is he? Nowhere. Where's the press coverage and hype about his talents? Nowhere. It's as if he's fallen off the face of the planet. What went wrong?

From what I've read, halfway through the 2008 season, BMW decided to shift their development efforts to the 2009 car, despite the success they were enjoying in 2008. The effect of this was that their 2008 season quietly tailed off, taking their #1 driver from championship leader to frustrated also-ran. If I were Kubica, I would've been mad as all hell.

What makes it even worse is that, while Honda adopted the same approach and built a pretty awesome car for 2009, BMW completely failed to capitalise on their long development time for the 2009 car. Despite this advantage, their car is a complete dud. Consequently, no-one is talking about Robert Kubica any more. If I were a rival team owner, I'd be seriously considering luring him away from BMW while his stock is (undeservedly) low. He's still an awesome driver and I really hope he bounces back in 2010. Fingers crossed for the lanky Pole.

Nice arse

2009-07-23T23:01:00.003+01:00

Slightly random post, but I struggle to think of more than a handful of cars that look good from behind. This thought struck me today as I walked behind one of the few that does look pretty good, in my opinion: the new Ford Kuga.

But what other cars have a nice arse? And are pretty much universally thought to look as good from behind as they do up front? Here are my own personal preferences, with links to supporting evidence:

BMW Z4 (1st-generation soft-top): Perfectly sculpted, just like the rest of the car and works better as a soft-top than as the coupé
Lotus Elise (2nd-generation): Small, but perfectly formed and just as unconventional as the rest of the car.
Ford Fiesta ST (MK5): Another car that is all-round perfectly formed. Nothing too showy, but perfectly proportioned, with the rear tying in nicely with the overall design
Ford Racing Puma (with F2 spoiler): Bit of a cheeky inclusion, this, as the spoiler's non-standard, but with it in place, the car's a peach. And so much better for the FRP's wider track than the standard car.
Citroen C4 VTS: The back of this car is very nicely finished by the spoiler and the coupé's vastly superior tailgate shape when compared to the 5-door.

And to be honest, out of that lot, only the Z4, Elise and possibly the C4 are truly special. Anything I might've missed that isn't a hypercar?

Pistonheads @ PalmerSport, Bedford Autodrome

2009-03-25T12:02:00.005Z

In the PalmerSport brochure, this event is described as "A driving day like no other". Having just experienced it, I cannot agree more. Un-chuffing-believable.

Our day, organised through the excellent Pistonheads website, started at an ungodly 8am. Registration was quickly over and we were all assigned randomly to a 'team' for the day: Senna; Schumacher; and my team, Piquet. This was basically just to split us up into groups that could use different areas of the facility concurrently. The upshot of it is that the order in which you drove the various cars was equally random. I got lucky; my day finished with the most awesome drives available. More of that in a bit. :)

First for Team Piquet, it was the Caterhams on the tight and twisty East Circuit. Sadly, I didn't realise just how cramped the pedals would be and I struggled to change gear while braking. The sun strip on my visor was also so low I couldn't see more than a few yards in front of the car. Add to that a late realisation that my instructor had dual controls and was interfering with my braking and I was struggling to get a feel for the car. Granted, I can't blame my 3 or 4 spins entirely on those things, but it didn't help.

Next were the Clio and Porsche on the North Circuit. I was really looking forward to the Clio, as I figured it would be reminiscent of my old Cooper S. And so it was, only it was like the Mini's rougher, tougher younger brother. The little bruiser positively encouraged you to be a hooligan — which was in stark contrast to the 911. I have to confess, I never got the hang of the Porsche. My overly-aggressive turn-in repeatedly saw the tail swing out and neither backing off nor applying more power — as advised by my instructor — seemed to help. I must've spun it 3 or 4 times. So much for my 911 aspirations. :( Perhaps there's an epiphany waiting to happen, but I'm no longer interested in finding it.

So, onto the final car before lunch: the Jaguar XKR. I'd really not been looking forward to this, as I expected it to be a triumph of inertia over fun. How wrong could I be?! As we set out onto the circuit, my instructor advised me that I could be quite brutish with it and it would reward me. Sweet! And he was dead right. I was immediately up to speed and having a whale of a time chucking it here there and everywhere. What a revelation! Which makes it so much more of a shame that I got consistently worse during my laps in it. Corners I'd been getting 95% right were suddenly being botched as I neglected them in favour of the ones I'd not got right. Regardless, the XKR had won me over; only its over-eager traction control and satellite-delayed gear shift let it down.

Following a very nice lunch, we headed out again, this time to the Land Rover course and the head-to-head Caterham auto-testing circuit. While the Landie was the perfect post-lunch discipline, I have to confess to being a bit slack and hasty on it. I got a very average score.

The Caterham, though, was a very different prospect. The standing start alone was enough to make me think I have to get myself a Superlight. Hold the revs at 3500 then sidestep the clutch as the lights go out. Any normal car would either judder violently or make more tyre smoke than forward progress, but this little rocket ship just shot off the line without fuss. Unbelievable. While I got an ok time out of my 3 attempts at the course, I sadly never managed a donut. My attempts to feather the throttle in search of a controlled slide just saw the donut peter out. Never mind. The car had been so much fun and so instinctive, you almost forgot you were driving.

And so to the final three: Le Mans-style JP1, go-kart, and Formula Jaguar single-seater. I couldn't have hoped for a better end to the day. If I thought the day so far had been good, this was to blow my mind. The JP1 was first and what an assault on the senses! The low seating position and open cockpit really brought the drama of it all home. No matter what speed we were doing, the adrenaline was pumping hard and fast. Even moreso when I spun it into the gravel! That off, at an embarssingly slow speed of 65mph, was thanks to a combination of not looking far enough through the corner, trying too hard to hear the intercom over the engine, watching the cars in front of me instead of the track, forgetting where the track went and simply being so low that I couldn't make out the circuit markings. Mostly though, I just reacted too aggressively when I realised I was going off-line and the car was oversteery enough to punish me. When I finally got out of the car, I knew that the last 10 or 12 minutes had been worth the £640 alone. It was that good.

A brief respite before the single-seater came in the form of a quick spot of karting. The course was short, twisty and narrow, but good fun nonetheless. After a couple of laps stuck behind someone, I finally got past and enjoyed a clear track for a minute or two. Before spinning under braking, that is. Oooops. :) I got another couple of okay-ish laps in, plus another spin (from which I had to extricate myself, seeing as no-one came over to push me out of the tyres) before it was all over. Best time of my group, but I'd have to wait till the end of the day to see how the remaining 40 punters had done. Still, I knew it was my only chance of being close to a trophy.

Before the final reckoning, however, there was the single-seater to go; the perfect finale. As we were given a couple of guide laps round the circuit, I was at the back of 5 or 6 cars. When we were let loose, my first action was to drop back in the face of a "SPREAD OUT" board shown by the marshalls. An inauspicious start, but even after giving the guy in front a good 5 to 10 seconds, I was soon back on his tail, but it was clear he'd not seen me. On the exit of a sweeping right, I decided to pass by staying left while he got back to the right-hand side of the circuit for the next chicane. Only problem was I mistimed it and caught up too early. With the extra momentum, I had nowhere to go. He was still hugging the outside of the corner's exit and so I shot out onto the grass to avoid a spin from turning too tightly. Miraculously, I got away with the 70mph daisy-cutting and bounced around a bit before teasing it back onto the circuit.

Another couple of laps later, I was still up his chuff and he was given the blue flag to let me past. I happily shot through and, with a couple of laps settling-in under my belt, I blasted away from him. The car was, to my suprise, incredibly user friendly and an absolute joy to drive. With clear track in front of me, I was able to push harder through the sweepers of turns 4 and 5 and realised exactly why professional racers need good neck muscles. My head was being buffetted about all over the place and pushed back into the headrest. At first, I took this as a sign to limit my throttle input, in order to stay in control, but then I started to enjoy it. I realised it was just something you had to attune your mind to. Grit your teeth and show it who's boss. The car was more than willing to go faster; I just had to match its abilities with my own. And what a reward. I have truly never known anything like it. Even the JP1 delivered only half the thrills of this dream machine. Don't even think to compare it to a fairground ride. More like a centrifuge in which your right foot is directly and instantly controlling the G forces. If this is what Jenson Button does day in, day out, he is one lucky, lucky man.

And then, it was all over.

So, back to the hospitality suite for a snack and the prize-giving. In a lot of the events, it turned out I had given acceptable, and occasionally respectable, performances. And then the result of the karting. As soon as it was mentioned that the winner came from the Piquet team, I felt like an Oscar-winner. Even before my lap time and name were called out, I knew it was me. Amazed and over the moon, I regretted not having a shave or combing my hair that morning more than ever. Even more amazingly, I actually looked all right in my trophy-acceptance photo. It may only have been for a fast lap in a go-kart, but to actually win something was beyond my wildest dreams. As was finding out later that I'd come 8th overall out of 59 drivers across all events. What a day. WHAT a day. :)

Some final points worthy of a mention, even if not a paragraph:

Three meals were included in the price of the day. However, these weren't your usual race-circuit rubbish; it was excellent quality. Full English and/or cereal and fruit to start the day, braised lamb shank with roast veg plus dessert for lunch, and rounded off by a light tea of sarnies and cakes. All of it to a very high standard.
As an indication of the calibre of the staff at Palmersport, my instructor for both the XKR and JP1 was James Gornall, current British GT champion. He was a great instructor too; pushed you hard and gave a constant stream of advice. Thoroughly pleasant bloke to boot.
The Caterhams were an affordable revelation and have shot up my next-car list as a result. Of course, it'll mean owning 2 cars, but I think it might just be worth it. :)

One last thing: the contrast between this day and the other 'track experience' days I've done could not be sharper. Whereas other event organisers put tight shackles on your use of their hardware, PalmerSport really do get you to push the cars. And I mean really push them. And thanks to their quality setup, the cars themselves can take the punishment even better than your own car on a trackday. This makes a whole world of difference. My previous track experiences had been... well, a real disappointment. PalmerSport, however, was superb. If you can save up £650, I urge you to forego the new TV and get yourself booked in at Bedford Autodrome. It'll live with you forever. :)

Bedford Autodrome trackday, 28th Feb 2009

2009-03-06T15:39:00.008Z

Long time, no trackday. Two years, in fact. Mortgages suck.

This was my first time on track in the 350Z and, while it was enjoyable, it might end up being the last time too. The car's just too heavy. While it made an admirable fist of changing direction when asked, it didn't take long to overheat its brakes, resulting in most runs being curtailed long before I felt I'd pushed it enough. Same old story, eh? Even with upgraded pads with which other users had reported a complete absence of fade. Am I just too aggressive? I don't think so; braking's where you make up most time and where you feel you're really racing. Why lose the fun?

That aside, my lack of recent track experience, coupled with my sedate, petrol-saving everyday driving, saw me making loads of mistakes. I suspect it was largely down to me not sighting the track far enough ahead. The lack of discipline in my lines was appalling. Frankly, I was all over the place. My positioning approaching corners was woefully inconsistent and my subsequent lines through and out of the corners were poor to say the least. Ragged at times, and just plain out of position at others. As much as it pains me to say it, I was your typical rubbish driver in a fast car. That said, at least I was still courteous to those overtaking.

For once, I also had a passenger for the entire day. Perhaps that might explain part of my crap driving too; not because they weighed the car down, but because I was too aware of throwing them about to concentrate fully on the job in hand. Whatever. It was probably a combination of all these things, but the upshot was that I drove disappointingly.

My preparation for the day left a lot to be desired too. I forgot to print out indemnity forms, didn't have one for my passenger and managed to turn up late, having to leave registration till after the safety briefing. Consequently, I was so late to the track itself that I'd missed the guided sighting laps and in my rush to get out, forgot to put the towing eye on the car. Very poor. I'll not let that happen again. Then, to compound my foolishness, a headache carried over from the previous day just got worse and worse during the morning to the point where I felt nauseous. I skipped the start of the afternoon session in favour of a couple of ibuprofen and half an hour's nap. From there, however, it was all good.

So, how did the car drive? Apart from the brakes, it was pretty well suited to the circuits we drove. Its power suited the straights and the corners were mostly sweeping enough to be pitched perfectly for a GT. The back straight was a little long at 1000m, but it did see my fastest trackday speed so far of 127mph. The Mini would've felt lost in a sea of tarmac. One thing that surprised me a little was the lack of wheelspin I got out of the tighter, slower corners. It was rare and noticeable when the back stepped out of line; most of the time, it just dug in and powered away. Well, accelerated away. The power wasn't actually that evident. I'd be interested to see the Zed on a rolling road, but I'm not willing to cough up to merely satisfy my curiosity.

As for the track, well, it was 2 tracks really. Bedford has 37 different circuit configurations to choose from. In the morning, we used a 2.8 mile combination of South and West circuits. In the afternoon, it was the 3.8 mile GT circuit. Now that is a long circuit. :) The two layouts shared a large section of their full distances and each had its spectacularly fun bits, largely towards the end of the lap. The start of the lap was, for me, a little too power-oriented. The final sections, however, had plenty of twists and turns and regularly sent my passenger into fits of giggles and squeals. I just wish the whole circuit had been like that.

Overall, it was great to get back on track. Headaches may have effectively written off the morning, but the afternoon was a hoot. The track was good, the car reasonably well suited to it, and Easytrack were well organised even if I wasn't. I'd definitely use Easytrack again, but perhaps in a smaller, more nimble car next time. And that might mean a circuit other than Bedford too. The twists and turns of Rockingham are looking pretty attractive right now. :)

The B6320: rollercoaster heaven

2008-03-10T19:35:00.000Z

A few weeks back, I went out for my first (and so far only) drive for pleasure in the Zed. Unfortunately, I had a passenger, so it was mostly pretty sedate. On the way home, however, I turned onto a stretch of road I don't think I've used before and it was... spectacular. Not for the views, but for the sheer rollercoastery nature of it.

The road in question is the B6320 between Bellingham and Otterburn is frickin' awesome. Actually, I can only vouch for a small part of that, as I joined it coming off the Greenhaugh road and most of the fun was over by the time we reached the A68. Still, what a fabulous couple of miles of tarmac.

Traffic jam research

2008-03-10T19:03:00.004Z

How hard can it be? Get twenty-odd people to drive cars round a single-lane track together, maintaining a constant speed. And yet, even in this simple environment, they still manage to create traffic jams.

I'm sure it's no complete solution, but really... come on... just keep your bloody foot off the brake pedal! Stop panicking people behind into making their own over-reactions. This, perhaps, is the one issue on which I actually agree with Clarkson — people who the brake on the motorway when no-one ahead of them is braking should be shot.

Still, it's a brilliant little experiment. I look forward to seeing what solutions the researchers propose.

Dave to the rescue

2008-03-04T19:03:00.001Z

Sometime last year, a new channel called Dave launched on Freeview. It's aimed squarely at blokes like me and, from the off, it's been showing re-runs of the entirety of new-generation Top Gear. Not just TG, obviously, but quite a lot of it. Recently, however, it's kicked into motorsport overdrive with the addition of WRC and a quality little show called GT Racer.

When I first caught GT Racer, I was really unimpressed. In hindsight, I think I just misunderstood it. Although it follows various historic race series across Europe and the States, it's more in the mold of a fly-on-the-wall documentary than a WRC-style sports highlights programme. There's absolutely no narration, the interviews with competitors and mechanics are entirely one-sided (you never hear or see the interviewer or his/her questions), and the racing highlights have a distinctly cheap-sounding, techno soundtrack. Actually, I've read somewhere that it's Kraftwerk, but it makes the whole thing come across like a corporate video for an under-funded club circuit.

Give it time, however, and it begins to grow on you. You become familiar with the featured racers, their pit crews and the cars, and realise they're such nice people that you can't help but wish them well. You get a real feel for the camaraderie in the paddock. It dawns on you that the camera-work is actually quite high quality and even the soundtrack becomes little more than a gentle heart-beat. Overall, it's a refreshingly unpretentious, understated piece of television. If it's still going when you read this, catch it at 7pm on Sundays and relax into a world of friendly competition.

Update: dammit! I posted this so late, the series has already finished. Fingers crossed for a re-run and/or another series.

Wallet-watch, week 4

2008-02-12T12:49:00.000Z

Wow, it's been nearly a month since the previous post. Didn't realise I'd let it slide that long. So... what gives in the world of the Zed? Well, I'm still driving it really gently. At least, I am on the commute. And I'm still getting 25mpg out of it — when I don't spend a week on the bus, that is.

Sounds depressing, doesn't it? Well, it is a bit. But, on the up-side, I reckon I'm almost going to halve my monthly fuel costs by the end of the second month of ownership. The first month cost about £260 in fuel. This month, I'm looking at a projected £150. That includes a week and a half of commuting by bus, which has the positive side effect of getting me some exercise (3-4 miles walking each day). I'm also cutting costs elsewhere quite successfully too (no more lattes for me!). With any luck, once I've spent enough time evaluating my cash flow, I should be able to get back to hooning with a relatively clear (financial) conscience. More than that, I'll be free to splash out on the new tyres and brakes. :)

Only one down-side remains: it's looking like the trip to the Nürburgring is off for this year. If I can afford just one trackday, I don't want my first track-based outing to be on an unfamiliar, undulating circuit with tight crash barriers. It's a recipe for disaster. Instead, I suspect I'll stump up for a trip to Bedford Autodrome. I might still go to the Ring, but it'll be purely as a reconnaissance mission.

Feeling the pinch

2008-01-14T21:30:00.000Z

Ever since I picked up the Zed, I’ve been closely monitoring my fuel consumption. This is the first time I’ve had a car with a trip computer and it’s an evil mistress. I can’t tear myself away from the damned fuel consumption read-out and it’s making me drive like someone’s grandma. Or rather, the figures coming out of it are doing so:

Motorway cruising: 34mpg
Weekday commute: 25mpg
Weekend socialising: 19mpg

And, other than the weekend stats, those figures are all weighted by me driving as gently as possible. It’s eye-watering stuff. And driving like a granny isn’t what I bought the car for. Combining this with my blatant disregard for the cost of tyres and brakes, and with the mortgage I acquired last year, I’m finally having to keep a careful eye on my bank balance. For the first time in my life, I’m no longer in the comfortable position of being able to save money without even trying. This year may well see the first April in which my ISA doesn’t hit its quota.

Oh, I know what you’re thinking - hard life! I’ve not really got an answer to that. I know I’ve had it easy in the past. I guess I just have to sit here and take any mocking you care to offer. It’s just… I’m thinking perhaps I should’ve checked all this before I took the plunge. The Elise’s 41mpg fuel economy looks a lot more attractive now. :-/

The not-so-Mini adventure: a retrospective

2008-01-10T22:03:00.000Z

For the past couple of weeks, a pile of receipts has been sat next to my computer, representing pretty much all I have left after 5 years of Mini ownership. I’ve even still got the original specification sheet and receipt. Hard to comprehend just how much of my life these things cover. Five years. Christ, I was a different person five years ago. I was still in my twenties for a start...

But that’s enough of the melancholic introspection. This post is meant to celebrate my not-so-Mini adventure, replete with blog-based flashbacks. While I’ll probably never look back on it as fondly as I do the Puma — first loves and all that — the Mini was a very capable, very special car. For starters, it was the first (and so far only) car I’ve taken out on track.

Flashback: before my first trip to Croft
Flashback: report written after the event

Actually, it turns out that many of my fondest memories of the Mini are associated with trackdays. Perhaps not that surprising when you consider its suspension was much happier on a smooth surface. On anything resembling your typical, broken-surfaced British B-road, the car struggled to maintain contact with the tarmac round the corners. Even once I’d swapped the original 17" wheels for the vastly superior 16’s, it couldn’t fix it entirely. Pity, because the back roads are exactly where the car should’ve shone.

Flashback: my first drive on 16" wheels

Tracks, however, were another story. Tracks and wonderful roundabouts like the one at Cowgate. ;-) Actually, to be fair, there were some roads where the Mini felt completely at home. You’ll probably know them by this simple name: Scotland. Aaaah... the bitter-sweet memories come flooding back. In September 2003, I decided to take a driving holiday to the highlands and islands of Scotland’s West coast. How could I go wrong? It was, allegedly, the finest drive in Britain. I’ll let the flashbacks tell the story:

And so this retrospective moves onto a less happy note. Before the Mini, the closest I’d come to bodyshop work was getting a spot of rust fixed on the Rover’s passenger door. In the past 5 years of Mini ownership, however, bodyshops must’ve taken close to £3500 of my business. A new tailgate, 2 new rear bumpers, 1 new front bumper, a resprayed bonnet and wing, a new bonnet stripe, a resprayed front bumper, and 2 refurbished wheels. Jesus H. Makes me sound like a danger to the public, doesn’t it? I swear, only the damage from the Scotland trip (tailgate and rear bumper) was my fault. The rest was down to jealous chavs, careless pensioners, suicidal felines, and poor workmanship.

Let’s get back onto the chronological trawl through happier moments. January 2004 saw me back on track, this time at Rockingham with a bunch of guys from Mini2.com as well as the usual trackday clientèle. Although we got only about 3 sessions on track and the first two were tempered by a wet track, Rockingham turned out to be a great, great day. Possibly the best I ever had in the Mini.

The car was kitted out with decent rubber, decent brakes and a decent passenger — all essential trackday ingredients. Even so, my engine was (as ever) entirely untweaked, so it was hugely satisfying to keep up with the Works Cooper S of a fellow Mini2er. Better than that was a racing driver, on tuition duties, mistaking me for a fellow racer, as my lines were so good. As compliments go, they don’t come much better than that. :-D

Flashback: the full Rockingham report

Soon after Rockingham, I failed to make the grade in the Michelin Renault scholarship and gave up on my dreams of motorsport. Instead, trackdays were to continue to be my fix. June 2004 saw the Mini on-track once again; my second outing at Croft. This one must’ve been relatively uneventful, as I don’t remember much about it. Then again, it did provide me with possibly the best keepsake I’ve got: 2½ minutes of glorious video...

Wonderful. :-)

Then life got not quite so wonderful. In late 2004, my job was really getting me down. I was stressed, I was ill, and I ending up quitting without having either another job to go to, or the confidence to get one. The Mini was proving to be the one thing in my life that still put a smile on my face. My soon-to-be-former colleagues knew this too and, bless their cotton socks, they got me a half-day trackday as a leaving present. Croft 2005 turned out to provide another of the most memorable moments in the Mini’s history, as it overcame the handicap of melted tyres to beat all-comers in a summer thunderstorm. Absolutely amazing and just the tonic I needed at the time.

Flashback: hot-lapping at Croft 2005

So, 4 trackdays down and plenty more to come. Another four to be exact: Donington; Cadwell; Snetterton; and Croft again. Looking again at those names, it reminds me of how many times I span the Mini on track. First time was on my very first outing at Croft (as you’ll have guessed, if you read the write-up). Rockingham and the next two Croft outings passed without incident. As each trackday had come and gone, I’d learnt more and more about the car’s handling, but I was beginning to plateau. I knew the tracks hadn’t really been that demanding. I couldn’t keep on going to Croft. I needed a track with gradient changes. Donington beckoned. :-)

For me, Donington first grabbed my attention in 1993, courtesy of a stunning drive by Ayrton Senna in the wet. Since then, both touring cars and bikes have made me gasp with amazing moves coming down the Craner Curves. The idea of putting the Mini through the same was both exciting and terrifying. In hindsight, I perhaps should’ve been more terrified, as I might not have spun on that very section of track. Then again, it taught me a valuable lesson, as did several very tail-out moments over the brow at Coppice: there’s always more to learn.

Flashback: Donington: Monsters of Opposite Lock

With that very much in mind, I sought out further new experiences. June 2006 saw me take to the track in a single-seater at Rockingham before I got back into the trackday swing with a trip to the daunting Cadwell Park in November.

Flashback: Cadwell Park, here we come!

As luck would have it(!), it was a wet day too. While I’d grown to appreciate rain on trackdays as being a great leveller, I have to admit, the thought of a wet track at Cadwell did worry me a little. With some sections of the track being tree-lined, it was a recipe for an expensive off.

In the end, while I did spin gently off at one point, it was out in the open and no harm was done. More than anything, it was just a little embarrassing. Oh, and there were other moments of extreme joy at Cadwell, but you can read the write-up for them. Suffice it to say, I continued my learning at Cadwell and I’ll definitely be going back there some day. :)

Flashback: Cadwell Park: the write-up

Soon after Cadwell, I started preparing the car for sale, reverting to bog standard run-flats and standard brakes all round. That was at the start of 2007. While I very nearly did an exchange deal for an S2000, it fell through due to that car not being up to snuff. My response? Let’s go have some more fun. So, on went the maddest brake pads I’d ever used — Mintex F4R racing pads — and off I went to Snetterton. Okay, I admit, I chose Snetterton partly because I thought I was in there with a lass from that area, but that proved to be folly. Hey ho. At least I was expanding my repertoire of tracks.

Sadly, I didn’t really rate Snetterton and it was easily the most costly trackday yet, coming in at about £800, all in (brakes, accommodation, fuel, etc). The circuit was incredibly dull and, while the brakes were absolutely incredible, my tyres were rubbish. There might be more positive things in the write-up, but to be honest, I can’t be bothered to re-read it myself:

Flashback: Snetterton: the debrief

And finally, as they say in that there TV land, it seems only fitting that the Mini finished its trackday adventures back at Croft, where it all started. I don’t remember too much about it except that it started badly, got much better and then finished really badly, with me wearing the Mintex pads out completely and destroying my front disks. I’d only had the pads for about 2 weeks. Must be some kind of record.

Flashback: Croft pt4, reduced to a bullet point

So, there it is. I was hoping to write something more interesting than a review of all my trackdays, but it appears that’s all I really remember the Mini for.

Actually, no, that’s not fair. I also remember friends I made through Mini2.com, having gone on many meets with the Northern contingent (including 2 or 3 of the trackdays). Dan (aka cannybob) and Lan were often companions near the back of a train of 30 or so Minis, scooting around country lanes. They were great, nice and relaxed. Paul Donkin (aka Dink) was also a good mate and is the one person I’ve just about kept in touch with. Well, nearly. He drives an insanely nice car these days, the jammy bastard.

Plenty of other names spring to mind too, but I doubt they remember me, except as the one who kept on winning the karting (hehe). And then, of course, there’s Tom (2) and Ben (1), sons of some good friends in Manchester who took a shine to the Mini. Great taste, lads.

All in all, the Mini was a good little car. On track, it was superb and I’ve got very few complaints about after-sales service (the free servicing helped), but I’m still not sure I made the right choice in getting it. In October 2005, I very nearly traded it in for a Clio Trophy and I still wonder whether get the Clio Cup back in 2002 was really the way to go. I’ll never know.

Regardless, I seriously enjoyed having a car that I learnt to hustle and, while I’m still getting to grips with the Zed, I miss that chuckability. Who knows, one day I may even get another. In the meantime, farewell NG52WBV — you were a great little car. *wipes away tear*

Three weeks with the Zed

2008-01-09T13:54:00.000Z

3 weeks in, and I’m still trying to get my head round what’s taking me so long to get used to the Zed. One thing I didn’t mention in my last post was the gearbox. This, really, has been the biggest cause of stress so far, as hinted at earlier. The change into 2nd, especially changing down from 3rd, is awkward to say the least. There are times I end up coasting for seconds at a time, just trying to get the damned lever home. It’s worse with a cold engine and with cold weather, but even when warmed up, it’s still not the slickest shift.

It’s been such a concern, in fact, that I’ve twice had a local 350Z specialist check it out (more on them in a later post). The first time, the guy just checked the car out while stationary and pronounced it to be typical of Zeds. Thing is, the gate feels completely different when on the move compared to standing still. Standing still, it’s as slick as you like, but if you’re even trickling, it get truculent. So, when I had it in for a minor service this last weekend, I got them to check it out on the move. Verdict: it’s one of the smoother ‘boxes they’ve encountered and I just need to get used to it. While that brings a certain amount of relief (mainly financial), I’m still left disappointed that I opted for a car with such a serious design flaw.

It’s certainly been getting better, though, and I suspect it’ll be great in summer. Last night, the temperature was up to about 7 or 8 degrees and it felt almost ok. So much so that I could forget about notchy gear changes and start to push the car a little harder. I’m getting back to being able to corner at similar speeds to those the Mini achieved. As much as anything, it’s about my confidence rather than the car’s abilities. Coming away from the second roundabout of my journey, I was laughing with joy. It’s been too damned long, I tell you. Too long. Later on, I even teased the back end out on purpose. I still need practice with my responses, but it was encouraging that I felt able to try it.

The proposed trackday may have to wait a bit (brakes and tyres need replacing first), but I’m really looking forward to it now.

Driving the Tank

2008-01-04T13:35:00.000Z

I don’t normally give cars nicknames. With the Zed, however, I’m tempted to call it The Tank. Not because of its size or muscularity, but as an abbreviation of sensory deprivation tank.

Yep, that’s right — and it’s not a good thing. The test-drive concerns I had about the 350Z being too comfortable a car are still with me. Except now, I’ve translated that nebulous feeling of unease into a sense that it simply doesn’t provide enough feedback. Journeys at night and in wet weather can be absolutely exhausting. I find myself trying to heighten my senses to the tiniest cues coming through the steering wheel, chassis and pedals. Often I’ll end up leaning forward in my seat, as if listening to a quiet friend in a noisy pub.

Thankfully, however, it’s not like that all the time. When you put your foot down and hustle it a bit, the car starts talking again. You begin to feel you’re dictating things rather than reacting to them. Sadly, I’ve had very little opportunity to grab the bull by the horns so far, as the roads have been decidedly slippery in the past 3 weeks. On one early occasion when I did give it some welly, I learned just how naïve I was about RWD cars. Despite accelerating in a straight line, the back stepped out rather suddenly, only being caught by the ESP rather than my panicked reactions. That shot across the bows has seen me drive considerably more gently ever since.

Although I’m slowly getting a feel for the limits of grip now, I still feel I’ve got a lot to learn before I can really have confidence in my ability to work the car hard. I can’t help feeling I need a safe environment in which to learn and, for me, that means a trackday. Perhaps Bedford Autodrome, with its extensive run-off, is the place to go, although I know Croft a lot better and it’s much closer to home. Either will do, I suppose. Just got to get the car serviced first...

Thank god that's all over

2007-12-27T00:21:00.000Z

Time to explain the silence on here, me thinks. :)

In short: I’ve sold the Mini and now have the red 350Z. Result! The long version’s a little less clear cut in its joyfulness.

First, I sold the Mini to a dealer for £6500 (now being sold for £9000). A week or so back, it would’ve been painful to even type that (hence the lack of posts), but now, I’m pretty much over it. Yes, I got a lot less than the car was worth, but:

The car needed a fair bit of work doing,
They didn’t quibble about the rattles that would’ve put off a private buyer, and
It meant I was able to go and buy the Zed

All in all, it was still a positive move that ended 2 weeks of the worst car-related stress I’ve ever known. Hell, it was so bad that I’d broken out in absolutely manic itching in my hands, feet, forearms and shins. It drove me absolutely nuts and was affecting my sleep.

Anyway, with the cash safely banked, I took a half day off work and hopped on the train down to York with a banker’s draft in hand. I returned later that day in my new car, £15,650 lighter. That was the 19th December. It’s now just become the 27th December, so I’ve had the car a little over a week. It feels like I’ve had it years. Sadly, that’s more an indication of the stress it’s given me than any feeling of well worn comfort. I’ll save the details for a later post, but so as not to finish on a downer, I can at least say matters are improving. :)

Another post I want to make at some point is a retrospective on the Mini. I had that car nearly 5 years — much longer than any other car I’ve had. It would be wrong not to give it a proper farewell. For now, though, it’s time for bed... blissfully free of stress-induced itching. :)

Life is a rollercoaster

2007-12-11T19:52:00.000Z

Oh, man, what a day. My stomach doesn't know which way to flip.

At lunchtime, I took the car back to the dealer that had offered me £7k for it. Today? £6500, no more. Damn! Turns out they'd watched my auction on Ebay and decided that they could get away with offering less. They even bidded on the thing, apparently. Anyway, I'd feared this would happen and walked away without doing a deal. The Zed was thrown into jeopardy. :-(

All afternoon, I've been doing my best to ignore frustration that bordered on blind rage. I told the owner of the Nissan that I had to re-think things and requested again that he drop his price by £250 to help clinch the deal. He offered a £100 drop. Pissing in the wind, really. Anyway, I've just let it stew since then, giving myself time to think it over. I no longer feel the same pressure to get things resolved, at least. In fact, I even started reconsidering that 135R.

And then, out of the blue, the Zed was handed a lifeline. Within minutes of each other, I got two offers of £6750 in cash from private buyers. (Oh, and another part-ex that I didn't want — a Corrado VR6 this time.) This could get interesting...

The first of the two offers was from someone in Nottinghamshire who'll be in the North East on Friday. Still about an hour South of me, mind, but that's not necessarily that bad. I could book my final half day off work, meet him in York, sell the car, bank the cash, stop overnight with friends and then buy the Zed the next day. Tempting.

The second offer was from someone in Durham. I'm hoping to meet him in Newcastle city centre tomorrow, which would allow me to bank the cash before I hand over the car. If all goes well, I could be without transport tomorrow evening. I'd have to get the train down to York, so I guess I'd better start checking ticket prices... and adding them to the price of the car. ;-)

Double standards at the FIA - again

2007-12-09T13:58:00.000Z

Sick to death of the FIA yet? I certainly am. While McLaren lost all their constructors’ championship points for 2007, were fined $100m, and still have to wait till February for permission to compete in 2008, Renault have got away without penalty for the same crime. I used to think the FIA had a pro-Ferrari bias, but now I’m starting to think they’re just anti-McLaren.

Elsewhere, and related to this fiasco, there’s a chance UK viewers might see Martin Brundle’s access to information for ITV’s coverage restricted next year. All because he spoke his mind in the Sunday Times. In fact, they’ve even issued a writ against him (which will fail). Thankfully, he’s not backing down. Go on there, Martin, son. Stick the boot in. :)

Get bidding!

2007-12-08T12:21:00.000Z

This post could well end up being a painful read in a few weeks’ time. That’s because I’m about to count my chickens before they’ve hatched. I went to view that 350Z yesterday and... well, I want it badly. It seemed to be in pretty good condition (allowing for the odd mark consistent with its age) and was thoroughly unmodified. Apparently, it hadn’t been out on track either, but I wouldn’t have held it against the guy if it had. Just because it hasn’t been on track, it doesn’t mean it hasn’t been driven by a hooligan on the roads.

Upshot of all of this is that I need to sell the Mini ASAP to get the cash for the Zed. To this end, I’ve dropped the price on Pistonheads to £7750 and have listed the car on Ebay too. I’ve had another couple of part-ex offers come through on PH (neither of which was what I wanted) and, while the actual bidding’s still very low on Ebay, I’ve had 3 people send me questions asking directly for what price I want; one of whom is a mackem, one a Scot and the other a Welsh lad. Frankly, whoever can get me the cash the fastest can have it. I just hope these leads don’t fall through, or I’m staring a rubbish offer from a dodgy dealer in the face. Let’s just hope it doesn’t come to that.

My biggest fear, however, is that someone else gets the Zed while I’m fannying around, scratching together the cash. I’d be gutted. And that’s why this post might prove to be painful reading later on. To mitigate such a situation (in my head, at least), I’m keeping a fall-back position of this lovely 135R...

Justice for all

2007-12-06T15:14:00.000Z

Oh, the sweet irony: 90mph police chief banned from driving.

A chief constable who was Britain's most senior traffic police officer was banned from driving yesterday after admitting speeding at 90mph on a road with a 60mph limit.

Take that, you hypocritical idiot. Incidentally, the road he was on at the time was the A5, the main artery into the heart of Wales’s best driving roads. And he was on holiday. Wonder what he might’ve been planning for his time off. I just wish he'd lost his job as well as his licence for this.

A new object of desire

2007-12-04T00:07:00.000Z

Right, sod that yellow S2000 — I've got a new object of desire. Right car, right price for its age, right location. Hell, it's even the right colour for trackdays. Only one thing's missing: the offer of a part-ex.

So, this week I've currently got off work has suddenly turned into a sell-my-car-f***ing-quickly week. Think I'm gonna have to get pimping it round the local dealers looking for the best price I can get and playing them off against each other. I just wish the damned roads were dry; the Mini gets dirty in less than a mile!

Colour considerations

2007-12-04T00:04:00.000Z

Is colour a valid consideration when buying a second-hand car?

The more I browse the Pistonheads classifieds, the fussier I seem to become about the colour of car I'll accept. And I'm not just talking about dismissing the odd pink Boxster here (odd being the operative word). There's such a wealth of quality used cars on that site, it almost encourages you to be choosy. But is it going too far when you're reluctant to take on a fairly standard silver car?

Thing is, the more I see of graphite and medium silver-coloured cars, the more I think “Hmmmm... I'm not going to catch the eye in that.” And that's not a vanity thing. It's all about the trackdays. If I'm pushing someone, but not quite fast enough to get past cleanly, I at least want to be sure that they see me.

To that end, the Mini's been great and I'd be more than happy to get another red car. The yellow S2000 (that I'm not getting, honest) would be great too. But cars that blend into the sky or the tarmac? Well, I'd choose something else, given the choice. Or, if there were no better choice, I'd seriously consider buying a bright red sunstrip for the top of the windscreen... perhaps with “Prepare to be lapped” on it, in mirror writing. ;-)

Making procrastination an art form

2007-12-02T13:50:00.000Z

Well, a couple more part-ex offers came in this week, but still nothing that really grabs me. One was for a relatively basic Holden Commodore — a V6, but with surprisingly little power at just 203bhp. Given that this car is rebadged as the Monaro in the UK, I was expecting more. Even then, it's too big and heavy for my liking. The second offer was a Boxster, but its owner (I suspect it's a dealer) gave so little info that I had no way of knowing which advert it was on Pistonheads. And they've not responded to my request for more info, so sod 'em.

Truth be told, I've spent most of the week lusting after that yellow S2000. But it's just too damned expensive. I could stretch myself to get it, but I know the depreciation would be heart-breaking — it's already lost £10k in its first 2 years of life. As a final nail in its coffin, I only realised a day or two back that the current-gen S2000 gets a measly 3.5 stars out of 5 in the Knowledge section of Evo. That's really not good enough. As much as it pains me, I might just have to cross the S2000 off my list altogether. Pity — there's plenty of them about to choose from and prices are ok. Oh well.

To help me stay focussed, I've put together a spreadsheet containing all the cars I pseudo-reviewed (with the exception of the Legnum) and a few more besides. Now, instead of going back to Evo and Pistonheads all day, I seem to spend my time changing the criteria on which that list's sorted. He he. It's interesting and all that, but I'll be happy when I no longer need to do it. I guess it's just a matter of waiting for the right car to come on the market, in the right location and with an owner who'd settle for a Cooper S.

Or I could drop the price on the Mini so much that someone buys it outright. I might drop it another £250, but sadly I've got some serious local competition at the moment. Hopefully, it'll be off the market soon. Hell, even a dealer would take it off their hands at that price. Fingers crossed they do, cos it's making me look expensive! :-/

7 offers and counting

2007-11-26T22:18:00.000Z

Two weeks in and still the car’s not sold. But it’s not all bad.

So far, I’ve had 7 people contact me about the Mini, despite it only being advertised on Pistonheads. That’s already 6 people more than ever enquired about the Puma when I put it on Autotrader. Anyway, of the 7, the breakdown is as follows:

2 dealers: one offered too little and had nothing of interest in stock; the other had interesting-but-not-perfect cars, so I decided to hold out
1 scam merchant, at least according to an email I subsequently received from PH
4 people offering part-ex: an ‘05 S2000; a 1990 Elan SE; a highly-tuned TT; and a Y-reg S2000.

Of the part-ex deals, I’ve been most tempted by the S2000’s. The first was too expensive (but nice enough to make me want to stretch my finances) and the second is possibly a little old. And maybe a little too Kev’d up, albeit only with exhaust, alloys and adjustable suspension. I’ve yet to reply to the latter enquiry, but then it only came in an hour ago. Not sure what I’ll say, but I might pass on it. To compound my reluctance, it’s in Dorset, so it would be a mammoth journey just to check it out. We’ll see.

In other news, Phil just got burned by a crappy part-ex when he replaced his Clio with a new Mini. I’m not surprised he hates garages. The most ridiculous part of the story, however, is the fact that you can pick up a brand new Clio like Phil’s for less than the garage is now selling his. I understand they need to make a profit, but it’s daylight frickin’ robbery, if they get away with that. Moral of this tale? NEVER trust garages. :-(

MINI for sale

2007-11-10T22:33:00.000Z

Well, I've finally done it. The Mini is now officially for sale. Let the fun and games begin.

Candidate: Boxster S

2007-11-09T17:51:00.000Z

Nearly there with these reviews, honest. Next up, the Porsche Boxster S.

So... the Porsche for people who can’t afford a 911. Or people who like to be seen. While I’ve long considered each car I’ve bought as a step on the ladder to a 911, the Boxster had never really been on my radar. Unlike the Elise and VX220, the soft-top on a Porsche felt more like a shop window for hairdressers than a practical ease-of-entry thing. In fact, in general, I’m fairly prejudiced against soft-tops and soft-top owners. But here’s where I’ll reel it in a bit.

Last year, a good friend bought a Boxster S... for just £18k. I was, at once, both seriously impressed and hugely disappointed. Rather childishly, I’d wanted to be the first of my mates to own a Porsche. Me, me, me! ;-) Anyway, once I’d got over this and been taken for a drive, I had to investigate further. Turns out I can even fit in a Boxster with a helmet on — bonus! That, combined with the falling second-hand prices, was enough to make me consider it.

Now, I’ve not yet driven a Boxster, but I have had a few passenger rides. Disconcertingly, it’s not the car’s pace or road-holding that’s the lasting impression; it’s the comfort. Just as when I drove the 350Zs, I’m a bit concerned that the car might not be involving enough for the driver. (I’m sure my friend will reassure me here, if he’s reading.) At the same time, however, Evo magazine still rates the Boxster massively and I treat that publication like gospel. Yet again, there’s only one thing for it: I need a test-drive.

Unfortunately, that’ll mean a private seller’s car, as the local Porsche garage deals only in unattainable cars. I don’t want to muck private sellers about, so until I’ve got funds ready to go, it’ll have to wait. In the meantime, I can mull over the more objective measure of 0-100km/h in 5.9secs. Not bad, but with the car’s price at the top of my range, am I ready to sacrifice practicality for it?

Straight-line speed: 6 out of 10
Chuckability: 8 out of 10 (predicted)
Kerb appeal: 5 out of 10
Economy: 4 out of 10 – 27mpg on the combined cycle
Practicality: 3 out of 10

Only one to go now — the E46 M3 — but can I be bothered? Not sure yet. Every time I write stuff here, it feels like time that would be better spent prepping the Mini for sale. So, if everything goes quiet, don’t go thinking I’ve bottled out. It may just mean I’m getting closer to a sale. :)

Candidate: Honda S2000

2007-11-02T23:45:00.000Z

Today, I shall mostly be writing about: the Honda S2000

Of all the cars I’m considering, this is the one I’ve come closest to owning in the past. Earlier this year, I extracted a wedge of cash from the bank and headed off to the Scottish border to do a part-ex. Problem is, it wasn’t in as good condition as it looked in the advert. It was a bit shabby inside and had well-rusted engine mounts and rust creeping into the bodywork. Add in the excessive wind noise from the hood (way worse than any other cabrio I’ve been in) and it was enough to make me back out. Not sure whether that’s endemic to S2000’s, mind. Guess I need more test drives.

Still, I did get to drive the car, and at a pace that let me learn a bit about it. Engine and handling-wise, it was sound. The engine felt strong, the steering was nicely weighted and the brakes nice and progressive. Also high on the list of positives was the car’s appearance (provided you ignored the rust). Although trumped by the 350Z, the S2000 is nonetheless a great-looking car. I especially like the ridiculous length of the bonnet. “Yeah, baby... check out the size of my engine.”

And now to the expected downsides: practicality and fuel economy. At least the price of 2nd hand S2000s is low enough that I could afford a second car. And I would need that second car for both B&Q trips and day-to-day fuel economy. The Honda’s mpg is worse than the Mini’s. That said, it’s better than the otherwise comparable 350Z.

Straight-line speed: 7 out of 10
Chuckability: 7 out of 10 (predicted)
Kerb appeal: 8 out of 10
Economy: 4 out of 10 – 28mpg on the combined cycle
Practicality: 3 out of 10

Right, what’s left? BMW M3? Boxster S? Impreza? Evo? I think I’ll dismiss those last two. They’ll have been well and truly hammered by the time they drop down into my price range. The Boxster, however, has a good chance of having a relatively sensible owner and the M3 is just plain enticing.

Candidate: Lotus Elise

2007-11-02T22:00:00.000Z

Another day, another car. This time out, it’s the Lotus Elise.

For my budget, the Elise is arguably the definitive road-friendly trackday toy. Relatively low on power, but far lighter than most cars, they’re everything a sportscar should be. Not only that, but the car’s lack of bulk gives it reasonable fuel economy figures. Where’s the downside?!?

Well, clearly, it’s not a very practical car. Easily the smallest I’m considering, the passenger seat and footwell would no doubt be the primary luggage space. It’s also the hardest to get in and out of. The first time I tried it with the roof on, I strained a muscle in my groin. Seriously, it’s like posting yourself through a letterbox. Plus, it has the same problem as the VX220 for trackdays: my head would be the highest point on the car. Unsettling. :-/

Still, I do find myself tempted by the prospects of trackday fun and planet-friendly fuel consumption. The only question becomes which model do I go for? Well, for starters, it has to be a second generation model. Its improved roof assembly mechanism is reason enough. That leaves me considering either the 111S, or the 135R — all other variants are outside my budget.

The 111S is the more road-biased model, having more creature comforts — incl. air-con of all things — and returning a staggering 41mpg on the combined cycle. The 135R, on the other hand, is aimed more at trackday enthusiasts. While it’s less powerful (135bhp vs. 160bhp), it’s significantly lighter and stiffer. It ends up a little less quick to 100km/h than the 111S (5.4s vs 5.1s), but I’d expect it to feel better. As a final bonus, the 135R also features an adjustable ride height, which could come in handy when my council introduces speed bumps to the estate I live on. Hmmm... I think I’m still more tempted by the 111S, mind. Maybe I’m going soft. :-)

Straight-line speed: 9 out of 10 (111S) or 8 out of 10 (135R)
Chuckability: 10 out of 10 (predicted)
Kerb appeal: 7 out of 10
Economy: 7 out of 10
Practicality: 1 out of 10

Really, I should take both models for a test-drive. See how much the stiffer ride bothers me on normal roads. Anyway, must plough on with these damn previews. I’m getting into analysis paralysis here. It’s about time I laid all the cards on the table, chose a car and got down to the serious business of finding a good example.

Candidate: Clio V6

2007-10-31T20:19:00.000Z

From one outsider (the Legnum) to another: the Clio V6.

There’s something that attracts me to nutter cars. Legnum, BMW M Coupe, Clio V6. They’re all hooligans that care more about having a wild time than about their looks. And yet, those brutish looks still put a smile on your face. Actually, I love the way the V6 Clios are styled. As Rick Dagless would no doubt remark, they’re compact and muscular — like corned beef. In fact, they’re both of those things and aggressive with it. A great example of form reflecting function.

And that function, of course, is to provide the driver with a lot of fun. I’ve read, however, that in the case of the Clio V6, one man’s fun is often another man’s fright. The original is said to be wild to the point of being uncontrollable, although the 2nd generation model apparently calmed things down a bit. If I were to go for a V6 then, it would have to be the 2nd generation. Unfortunately, this restricts my choice, as they’re not exactly cheap — £15k minimum. This in turn rules out the cheap, practical shed of an estate to make up for the flash car’s impracticality.

Finally, let’s not forget another of the Clio’s strengths: outright grunt. The V6 might not be hugely faster than its cousin, the Trophy, but it does make it inside my ideal 0-100km/h time; it makes it in 5.8secs. I’m a little surprised it’s quicker than a 350Z, but there you go. One not to be dismissed lightly.

Straight-line speed: 8 out of 10
Chuckability: 7 out of 10 (predicted)
Kerb appeal: 9 out of 10
Economy: 3 out of 10 – 24mpg on the combined cycle
Practicality: 2 out of 10

When I’m done writing these (p)reviews, I’ll have to put all of these stats into some kind of table. As a geek, I’d love to do a bit of PCA on the figures to see if the cars cluster as you might expect, but I’ll leave that as an exercise for the reader. In the meantime, you can click on the 4thcar label to see all posts related to me choosing the Mini's replacement.

Candidate: Legnum VR4

2007-10-30T22:24:00.001Z

Right, time for something of a wildcard. ;-)

For those not familiar with the name, a Legnum is the estate version of a Mitsubishi Galant. And the VR4 is the meanest Legnum going; a bit of a wolf in sheep’s clothing. 0-100km/h? 6.0secs. Or better. Actually, there’s another video on there of a Legnum out-dragging a BMW M3. No mean feat.

Blistering straight-line performance aside, what else can one of these beasts offer? Well, for starters, there’s its trump card: size. It is a massive estate car. Very B&Q friendly. In fact, it’s this combination of size, stealth and performance that gets it on the list of candidates in the first place. Throw in the fact that you can pick them up for between 4 and 6 grand, and we could be looking at a genuine contender. The thing even looks pretty good.

On the downside, its size is likely to also work against it. On track, I would be worried that the back end would throw me about all over the place, but without trying it, it’s impossible to say. It could be a barrel of laughs or it could be an unwanted handful. Then there’s the fuel economy. With twin-turbos blowing on a V6, it’s not surprising that it’s in the low 20’s for mpg. Not so great.

So, what are the scores, George Dawes?

Straight-line speed: 7 out of 10
Chuckability: 5 out of 10 (prediction)
Kerb appeal: 7 out of 10
Economy: 2 out of 10 – 23mpg average
Practicality: 9 out of 10

As I said, a wildcard. To be fair, I should probably at least take one for a test-drive. I might not get the chance to find out how pendulous the rear end is (at least, I hope not on a test-drive!), but it would be good to get a feel for them nonetheless.

Candidate: Nissan 350Z

2007-10-30T17:32:00.000Z

So, the VX220 ticked all of the ’fun’ boxes, but neither of the sensible-shoes boxes. How will the 350Z fare?

On the surface, the strongest card the 350Z holds is its kerb appeal. It’s subjective, but to me, the car is a work of art. Perfectly proportioned, and beautiful from every angle. Its attractiveness is not the only string to its bow, however. It’s pretty quick too, even if it is just shy of my ideal 6.0secs to 100km/h. It holds the road pretty nicely too, based on my 2 test-drives. And it’s a tin-top, which is definitely my preference; greater structural rigidity and no faffing with a leaky and/or awkard roof. Crucially, I can even get in the 350Z with a helmet on - a requirement that’s ruled out plenty of other contenders.

When it comes to practicality, however, it’s another compromise. The boot is suitable for long weekends away, but that’s about it. Just as with the VX220, you can forget about trips to B&Q. But then, I’m pretty much resigned to having another impractical car anyway. It’s just that, were I to get a 350Z, it’s unlikely there’d be any money left in the kitty for even a shed of an estate car. In that sense, the Zed’s arguably less of a practical option for shifting stuff around than even the Vauxhall.

In summary:

Straight-line speed: 7 out of 10
Chuckability: 7 out of 10
Kerb appeal: 9 out of 10
Economy: 3 out of 10 - 24mpg on the combined cycle
Practicality: 3 out of 10

Looking at those stats, I think the thing that bugs me most is the fuel economy. The car’s price would be at the top end of my range even before the cost of its petrol kicks in. Errr… sorry… I mean it’ll kill the planet. Yeah, that’s right - it’s all about the environment. Honest. Okay, I’m not kidding anyone, but I would at least like to get a car that’s no worse than the Mini for planet-killing. At least then I’d be able to say I’m moving in the right direction.

Next!

Candidate: Vauxhall VX220

2007-10-29T12:46:00.000Z

As promised, here’s the first of many cars to which I’m considering upgrading: the Vauxhall VX220. Or VX220 Turbo. I’m not fussy.

In the Vauxhall’s favour are its most obvious attributes: it’s fast and light. Although I’ve yet to drive one, I suspect I could have a lot of fun in one of these, both on the open road and on trackdays. The light weight, in particular, is a great attraction. The closer I can get to a go-kart on trackdays, the better. One other attraction that’s a little more subjective is the car’s looks. I swear, if it didn’t have a Vauxhall badge on the front, it would get far more positive reviews for its looks. ‘Razor-sharp’ is the phrase that comes to mind for me; I love it.

On the downside, the VX would cause me to be a little unnerved on trackdays, due to the fact I’d have to take the roof off. I simply can’t fit in one with a helmet on. Not only that, but with the helmet on and the roof off, my head would be the highest point on the car. While I don’t intend to flip a car, I’d really rather my head wasn’t acting as the rollover bar.

Also, rather more obviously, the car’s not exactly practical in the B&Q sense. I really don’t mind the lack of storage when getting groceries in, but the inflexibility of this car is something else. Perhaps I could get a total shed of an estate car to go with it? We’ll see.

In summary:

Straight-line speed: 8 out of 10 (N/A) or 9 out of 10 (turbo)
Chuckability: 9 out of 10 (predicted)
Kerb appeal: 8 out of 10
Economy: 5 out of 10 – 33mpg on the combined cycle.
Practicality: 3 out of 10

Next up, the Honda S2000. Or maybe the Elise. Or 350Z. Or Legnum VR4. Or something else.

Axes of desire

2007-10-28T22:34:00.000Z

Another week goes by and I’m still a Mini owner. This isn’t how I planned it.

This past week, I was off work. I hesitate to say on holiday. The first day was spent... at work. And the rest was spent either being ill or decorating the house. And to think I had plans for getting a new car instead. Despite this, at least I’m making progress toward the next purchase. The front bumper is looking great following its respray. The exhaust’s all sorted. I even think I found the source of a persistent rattle coming from the back of the car.

On top of this, I’ve made the car a little more photogenic, sprucing up the wheels and taking the opportunity to even the tyre wear by swapping front to back. The photos I’ll take could well be called upon soon too. I’ve contacted 3 private sellers about doing a part-ex on their cars, although I’ve only heard back from one so far. And that was a negative. The cars, by the way, are a mixed bag: an S2 Elise 135; a Honda S2000; and a VX220. Frankly, any of those would make a great next car.

I’m also considering approaching a guy with a BMW 330cd, which is a departure from the usual models for me. This got me thinking about what I’m really looking for from my next car. And what compromises I’d be willing to make. I figure there are a number of separate traits that would entice me. Because I’m stupid, I’ll call them my axes of desire:

Straight-line speed – ideally, less than 6 secs to 100km/h
Chuckability – ideally, just as nimble as the Mini
Kerb appeal – ideally, it should make me grin like an idiot at petrol stations
Economy – ideally, will regularly return 40mpg plus
Practicality – ideally, I could get stuff from B&Q in the back

Over the next few posts, I think I’ll make the case for a bunch of cars I’ve been considering and see how they fare on these criteria. Promises of future blog posts are a dangerous thing when you’re as lax as me, but what the hell. I made a whole site about a car purchase once, you know. I did. Stop yawning, dammit.

Windfall

2007-10-12T17:00:00.000+01:00

You get a £500 bonus at work — how do you spend it?

The big decision for half of my colleagues appears to have been XBox 360 or Playstation 3? Myself, I’ve opted for a front bumper respray. Of course, as soon as I said as much, I was told, quite earnestly, that I really need to stop thinking about cars so much. Hehe. Well, it made me laugh anyway. :)

Yes, I might well be chucking money away — I doubt the work will add the equivalent value to the car come the day I sell it — but it won’t half improve my enjoyment of the car. As it stands, the polka-dot affair I’ve got at the moment (courtesy of Bill Heaney’s crap finishing) makes my heart sink every time I approach the thing. In just a week’s time, I’m going to be smiling again instead. It’s been at least 6 months since that last happened (the lack of blogging here in that time is no coincidence) and maybe it’ll reinvigorate me full-stop. Dammit, I love driving too much to feel depressed about my car. Roll on the good times.

Oh, and it appears I was a little rash in saying that my exhaust bracket was merely a little rusty. Last night, the thing gave up the ghost. For the last mile before I got home, my heart never left my mouth, as I expected to hear a loud clatter of exhaust on asphalt. Instead, I just got exhaust on car underbody, but that was bad enough. Next time, I’ll inspect things a little more closely. Lesson learnt. Now I’ve just got a nervy 8-mile drive to the garage to get the bracket replaced. I think it could time to employ a wire coathanger in an unfamiliar role... *gulp*

Trackday season is here

2007-10-11T12:52:00.000+01:00

Earlier today, I started to get excited for no apparent reason. It suddenly dawned on me that the trackday season is approaching. Most petrolheads reading that would think I’m nuts. Au contraire. I’m simply tight and fearless. ;-)

Yup, for me, winter is the best time of year for trackdays, not least because the costs plummet. But it’s not just the cheaper ticket prices that attract me. In winter, you’re more likely to get a damp track, making it much more of a challenge and much more fun in the process. Thanks to global warming, the UK’s winters are increasingly mild too, so the chance of getting an icy track is greatly diminished. Other benefits include:

Fewer cars on track (most people are shy of booking wet trackdays)
Reduced tyre wear (can’t corner as quickly on wet surfaces)
Reduced brake wear (can’t brake as aggressively on wet surfaces)
The car’s more powerful (thanks to the colder, denser air)

All in all, it’s the perfect time of year, especially for FWD cars that are less scary in the wet. I guess it’s time I got my car ready for it, really — or ready for upgrading.

Not so sprightly at sixty

2007-10-07T23:02:00.000+01:00

The Mini’s just about to pass the 60k mile mark and, sadly, it seems it’s starting to show its age. The service I had it booked in for when I last blogged on here threw up so many problems that the dealer didn’t even perform the service. Instead, they gave me a list of problems and told me they’d be in touch with estimates. 4 or 5 weeks later and I’ve still not received anything. I hate having to chase idiots just to give them my money. Clearly, business is far too good for them to be hungry. Clearly, they don’t need my business. Wankers.

So, for the time being, I’m driving around with every controllable appendage crossed, hoping to hell that my exhaust stays put. To be fair, mind, I’ve looked at a number of things they said were problems and they simply aren’t. The steering column doesn’t make a grinding noise. The headlamp height adjustment does work. The clutch isn’t poor. Well, not massively. ;) And the exhaust’s support bracket isn’t snapped — it’s just a bit rusty. Are they trying to extort money from me? You be the judge...

Regardless, the whole thing’s taking the shine off Mini ownership again. When you combine it with the bodyshop’s refusal to admit that the peppering of stonechips on my resprayed front bumper is unusual, I’m really on a bit of a downer. I really just need to take a deep breath and splash out the £350 required to fix it. I know I’ll fall in love with the car again once it’s shiny and spotless, but I hate the fact it needs doing. All the while, the car’s state is keeping me from upgrading. Must. Take. Action. Stay tuned to see if I do...

Game on!

2007-08-28T13:11:00.000+01:00

It’s started again. I’ve started out on the test drives.

Five years ago, I took a week off work to test drive a load of different cars in an attempt to decide what I would get next. This weekend, I took my first proper test-drives in five years. I can barely believe it’s been that long, but I guess it must be. Even when trying to negotiate a deal on a Clio Trophy, I don’t think I took a test drive. Stupid, or what?

Regardless, Saturday saw me searching (fruitlessly) for a particular garage in the Benton area that had a VX220. Clearly, map-reading’s not as much of a strength of mine as I thought. Never mind. I did, however, find and drive a couple of 350Z’s. :)

The first was an import with a stupid nosecone and an equally stupid price tag: 16k for an 03 import is just daft. The dealer was pretty close to home too, so I got to try it out on roads I know well. While it felt just as planted as the Mini, it failed to blow me away. Acceleration was only marginally better than I was used to and when revved to the top end, it sounded a little rough. Couple this with the car’s greater comfort and the thrill I was looking for just wasn’t there. I realise it’s a bit odd to list comfort as a negative. I think it just means I felt less involved in the whole… driving thing. To be honest, I’m still trying to make sense of it, myself.

The second zed was a UK model, 04 plate, in the metallic blue that I so lusted after in Evo’s fast fleet pages. This car offered a completely different experience. The engine, while a bit ’ticky’ at first, generally felt and sounded much smoother. The acceleration, too, felt better — more like what you’d expect from the car. Despite these positives, however, I still felt as though I would be able to hustle the Mini better, even after experience in the 350Z. As soon as I drove away from the dealership in the little red belter, that feeling was only reinforced.

This is strange. As much as it vindicates my lengthy Mini ownership, and as much as 350Z ownership would undoubtedly be a step up the ladder towards a 911 (spot the long term goal), I can’t help feeling that I need to take a bigger step; performance-wise at least. This suggests that an Elise or VX220 is probably the best way to go. At least those two would be small and light enough to feel chuckable too.

I’m currently in negotiations with a bloke in London about doing a part-ex for his VX220, but I don’t hold out much hope. As soon as he sees I’ve got no air-con, you can bet your ass he’ll back out. Failing that, I’m also trying to get the attention of a guy with a Clio Trophy who wants a Cooper S in part-ex. Yes, I know it’s another FWD car (and I said I wanted to avoid that), but the Trophy is such a legend that I’d be willing to overlook the drivetrain issue. Will keep you posted.

Radio silence

2007-07-19T21:34:00.000+01:00

Well... it’s been a while.

Apologies for the off-air time there. I lost my evening access to the internet for a month, then moved into the new house. That was over a month ago and, thanks to working into the evening pretty much every night, I’ve still not got round to ordering broadband yet. Or rather, I’ve tried, but my attempts online at work always fail and BT closes their phoneline before I get home from work. (No, I can’t be arsed to hang on the line forever while at work.) Upshot: I’m still offline.

Tonight, however, I’m yours.

So, what have I been up to? I could try to write everything up in its own post, but sod that. Here’s a quick list instead:

Took part in another karting event and successfully threw this one. Seriously, it was a beautiful deceit. I was so chuffed. I managed to get fastest lap by over a second and still finish in third place due to an opportunistic ‘off’.
Paid my 4th visit to Croft on another open pit-lane trackday. Totally wasted my brakes (including discs), but rediscovered a love of trackdays in the process. In fact, when comparing with Snetterton, I finally realised how good a track Croft is. Despite its lack of gradients, it’s got a great combination of challenges. Love it.
Got depressed about the Mini again. Various reasons: the race pads have ruined my front alloys; something corrosive appears to have rained on the car at some point, tarnishing the paint; and pollen that stuck to said corrosive substance was so hard to remove that I’ve scratched my bonnet. All of this reduces its resale value massively. I feel yet another trip to the bodyshop coming on. :(

Actually, that’s about it. I thought I had more to tell you about, but maybe not. Of course, I’ve moved into my house, but even that’s been a bit depressing. Turns out the previous owner had a cat and I’ve got a mental cat allergy. Couldn’t move in for weeks and even then I had to throw out all the carpets. To this day, I’m still walking carefully around the gripperrods. :(

I’m sure things’ll pick up soon, mind. Just got to get a software release out at work and then it’ll be back to sensible working hours. Can’t come too soon.

Snetterton: the debrief

2007-05-14T23:55:00.000+01:00

Trackday: £170. Accomodation: £75. Fuel: £160. New front pads, brake lines, fitting and retro-fitting: £320. Wheel refurbishment to fix scarred alloys: £110. Keeping up with a Porsche round Snetterton in the rain: priceless.

*stops to reconsider*

No, scratch that. It’s not priceless. It’s bloody expensive and it’s consumed a huge chunk of this year’s trackday budget (which was roughly £1500). What the hell was I thinking?

Back to the matter in hand, though: Snetterton. It was... ok. In terms of layout, it has to be the least interesting, least technical circuit I’ve yet driven (mental note: avoid Mallory). The straights were nothing but points at which I got out of the way of faster cars and the tighter corners were pure frustration as I struggled for any kind of grip. Riches was fun and Coram was ok, but the rest — even the Bombhole — was remarkably unremarkable. Anyway, here are some of the high and low points of the day:

An appalling lack of grip in the slow speed corners: Sear corner was enough to make my heart sink every lap, as the front end slid out under the slightest application of power. I felt like I was waiting an eternity for the grip to come while others were powering through the corner and into the distance. The second half of the Esses was just as bad grip-wise, but at least it was a shorter corner. Then the turn-in to the Bombhole was so poor that I lost lots of ground every time I arrived there and never felt I’d taken it well.
Phenomenal brakes: You know how you never notice your good health, but are all-too-aware of when you’re ill? It’s just the same with car setup. On every trackday I’ve done in the past, I’ve suffered brake fade of varying degrees. This time, however, they didn’t fade a bit. Mintex F4R pads are phenomenal (on my Mini, at least), even if the dust does eat your alloys. Sadly, I still wasn’t really able to enjoy the braking zones. My tyres were poor (bog-standard run-flats) and squirmed a lot under heavy braking, requiring a frustrating amount of modulation to avoid spinning.
Being one of the slowest guys on track: Driving a Mini, I’ve always been one of the slowest people on the circuit, no matter where I’m driving. At Snetterton, I was acutely aware of it. Through every corner and on every straight, I had to check my mirrors to prepare for letting someone past. In the dry, I barely had a single lap that wasn’t compromised by getting out of someone’s way. In hindsight, maybe I was too accommodating, but I prefer to know when someone’s coming past rather than having them scoot unexpectedly around the outside (as some chump did in a Caterham around Coram).
Getting a passenger ride in a 997 GT3: Unbelievable. Planted. Grippy. Nimble. Fast. Comfortable. Very comfortable, in fact. It was a machine to behold. I just wish it were mine. I’m definitely going to try and blag more rides like this at future trackdays. I’ve just got to make sure I keep my promises to return the favour — oops!
Pressuring a Carrera driver into a mistake: Through the course of the day, I got chatting with an affable lad from Essex who was driving an early 996 Carrera. Compared to some of the Porsches there, it was positively understated, so I was keen to get out on track at the same time as him. Eventually, we did so and, while I had to let him past on Revett Straight, I was catching him under braking for Riches the next time round. Through Riches, I kept my foot down, balanced the understeer and was right on his tail. He noticed this and tried to respond, misjudged his entry speed to Sear and got the back end swinging out. We both had a good chuckle about that when got back into the pits. :)
Finally getting some free laps when the rain arrived: I love rain on trackdays. Not only does it reduce the number of people willing to venture out on track, but it gives me a chance to keep up with people who are less confident in the wet. This time out, I got about 5 consecutive laps without having to pull over for anyone. Not only that, but I was managing to keep up with an old-skool Porsche. Not on the striaghts, perhaps, but I always clawed it back at the corners. Well, with the exception of Sear and Russell.
Getting the line right through Riches: Speaking with Carl, the GT3 owner, he told me about tuition he’d received at Snetterton and how you know when you’ve got Riches right. The key, he said, was maintaining the same amount of steering lock throughout the corner, clipping only the second of its two apexes. After getting over my initial instinct to turn in early, I found myself getting it spot on and gaining ground on half the field. Satisfying though that was, it wasn’t something that gave me much of an advantage, as there was only a short burst after Riches before braking hard for Sear (and a world of understeer).
My own inconsistency: I knew from my gut that I wasn’t having my best trackday, but it really only struck home when one of the other drivers talked about having picked out his braking points. I realised I hadn’t even managed that. Each lap, I seemed to try something different into nearly every corner, never satisfied with the previous lap’s attempt. Coming into the Esses, I even abandoned trying to base my braking points on the marker boards, instead preferring to work on intuition while watching the upcoming kerb and apex, as I do when karting. This usually led to me leaving my braking dangerously late, mind, so I had to rethink that approach too. Overall, I really hope I’m not losing my ability to hustle a car round a track. That would really be a downer. It’s how I define myself, dammit!
Watching the fuel gauge sink rapidly: I’m pretty sure Snetterton must’ve given me my worst fuel economy ever. Although I didn’t measure it, it felt loads worse than my previous record at Croft (10.2 mpg). In just 25 minutes, my tank went from brim-full to two-thirds full. I’m pretty sure that equates to over a litre per lap, which would mean 8-9mpg. Gulp.

And some other memories that I’ll keep brief:

A Caterham Roadsport who never indicated and rarely backed off
A Chevrolet monster with the loudest exhaust/engine ever
Watching an Evo drifting round Sear onto Revett Straight
Having the better of a pair of unmolested Golf GTIs (a small victory)
Not having the better of a pair of Clios (a major bummer)
Watching a Skyline playing with the Evo (and vice versa)
Admiring the guts of someone willing to take a bog-standard Citroen C3 on track

Overall, though, this trackday can be summed up in one word: frustrating. If I ever return to Snetterton, it'll have to be in a different, or substantially revised, car. :(

What next?

2007-04-26T21:00:00.000+01:00

Shopping trolley + weekend fun = £12k. Solve for x.

Now that I’m getting a place with a garage and a driveway, I can seriously think about owning 2 cars and not worry about where I would keep them. As I’d like to reduce my carbon footprint, one car has to be a fuel-efficient shopping trolley for commuting and... well, shopping. The other would provide the fun. I reckon I’ve got a budget of the Mini plus £2.5k, making a total of £12k. The question is, where do I spend the money?

Here are a few options I’m considering:

Option 1 would be to go for an ultra-cheap banger and couple it with an aging S2000, VX220, Elise, or similar. On the up-side, I would get to own a proper RWD sports car. The fun car would even be practical enough to use day to day, should I need to. On the downside, the fun car would be getting into the high-maintenance phase of its life and there’s a good chance the banger would give me a load of grief too.

Option 2 would be some kind of Caterfield for around the £5-6k mark, plus either something utterly reliable and average (Focus? Golf? Diesel?) for the same sort of money. Or I could maintain my style-conscious motoring theme and go for something über-funky like an imported Nissan Cube for the commuting option. I have to admit, that option really appeals to me. I’m just not sure the Caterfield would see enough use to justify it, especially during winter.

Option 3 would be to get a fairly old, well-maintained classic like an E30 3-series BMW for under £2k and kit it out purely for track work, coupling it with a luke-warm diesel for the day-to-day. Actually, knowing my impatience and lack of mechanical knowledge, I’d probably be better off buying an E30 that’s already track-prepared. They’re not even that much more expensive and someone else would’ve already had all the hassle getting it sorted.

I’m sure there are plenty more combinations out there than this. I’ve even considered getting a sub-£1k van as the run-around. It would be cheap to buy, cheap to run, and have plenty of practicality (except in the passenger department). I don’t know. I bet it’ll still take me ages to decide anyway. And the key to it all is selling the Mini — something I’ve got a really bad track record on! Place your bets...

Go Racing

2007-04-25T17:56:00.000+01:00

A healthily large envelope arrived in the post yesterday: my Go Racing pack from the MSA. Yes, this means I’ve actually spent some money to get me started in competitive motorsport.

Only time will tell whether it was a waste of money...

Karting, 24-04-2007

2007-04-25T17:54:00.000+01:00

Another trip karting, another bruised back. And another trophy.

I wasn’t meant to win, though. I’d been invited out by my brother to join his company’s karting event. I’d promised not to whip them and would even throw the event if need be. Some might consider that arrogant, but experience has taught that, with corporate karting events, I can be fairly confident I’ll be near the sharp end of the grid, if not on pole.

On the day, I misjudged things a little. My first flying qualifying lap turned out to be quick enough to put me on pole, even though I felt I’d held a little back. Ooops. Then, when the race started, my only concern was to avoid getting injured from some over-exuberant T-boning action. I managed that, but it also meant that I got quite a few lengths’ lead in the first few corners. If I’d backed off at that point, it would have been very obvious and quite insulting. I had to accept the truth — I’d blown it.

From that point on, I figured I might as well enjoy myself and ending up lapping nearly everyone (on a 70-sec lap circuit). Oh well. Guess I’ll not be invited back, but that’s no great problem — there was no real competition to help me improve anyway.

Now that is arrogant. ;-)

Getting airborne

2007-04-24T12:33:00.000+01:00

Is it possible to take off in a car safely?

From time to time, in the pages of Evo magazine, there’ll be a photo of an Impreza or Evo with daylight clearly visible under its wheels. Never more than a few inches, but the car will definitely be airborne. I used to think that only something like a rally-bred turbo nutter could take such punishment, but I was wrong. The Mini can do it too.

Last year, I surprised myself by getting all four of the Mini’s wheels off the ground near Rothbury in Northumberland. As things slowed down to bullet-time, it was both exciting and worrying. We hung there for what felt an eternity; at least compared to earlier occasions when the car had gone light. And then we landed — all four wheels at the same time and beautifully cushioned. Seriously, I’ve driven over patches of relaid tarmac that have given my suspension more grief. I was both ecstatic and deeply relieved.

Immediately afterwards, I vowed never to push my luck that far again. While the thrill was something else, it was definitely a guilty pleasure. Nagging at the back of my mind, however, was the thought that, with the right conditions, it could be repeated perfectly safely. All you need is a friend on the same stretch of road to give you the all-clear.

That said, I’m still not comfortable with the idea. Despite the fact that no-one reads this blog, I’ll throw the question out there. What do you think: harmless fun, or deeply irresponsible? I’d love to hear your thoughts...

Snetterton, here we come

2007-04-17T22:18:00.000+01:00

Things to do in 2007: new circuits... tick!

A couple of months back, I made a typically rash, half-hearted commitment to increase my attendance at trackdays. Finally, I’ve begun to act upon it. Last weekend it was the Gallardo experience, if that counts, and now I’ve just booked myself in for a trackday at Snetterton.

Up until now, I’d been holding off for a couple of reasons:

I’m buying my first house and somewhat naïvely expected to be busy. I’m not. And neither, it appears, are my slacking solicitors. :(
I don’t want to wreck the Mini’s tyres and brakes, as I aim to sell it soon after I’ve moved into the house.

In the end, the frustration became too great. It seems there’s always something stopping me doing a trackday, but in reality, I’m the one holding myself back. Sod that. I’m rather looking forward to Snetterton. It’s not a circuit I’d really considered much before — Oulton was at the top of my list — but I’ll be meeting up with a fellow enthusiast there and good company’s what makes a good trackday great.

I hear Snetterton’s a pretty quick circuit, mind. For the sake of mechanical sympathy, I’ll be praying for rain. Otherwise, I might have to take it easy round some of the faster sweepers, if I want to avoid cone-shaped tyres. I think I might have to up-rate the front pads too, just in case. Gah! Further expense! Oh well, who needs a sofa anyway? ;)

My Lamborghini Thrill

2007-04-16T13:10:00.000+01:00

Things to do in 2007: drive a Lamborghini Gallardo... tick!

However, that’s it really. Driven. Not raced. Not thrashed. Just driven. To be fair, it’s no more than I was expecting when I coughed up £99 for Everyman’s “Lamborghini Thrill”. I’d hoped I would be able to push it, but I really didn’t expect it. So, if you’re a trackday regular who pines for the chance to drive a supercar on track, here are a few things you might like to know about the Everyman experience:

You’ll be told what speed you have to take the corners e.g. 30mph in the chicane
You’ll be told what gear to be in; generally a gear higher than you would choose yourself
You’ll use barely half of the available rev range
You’ll be told to brake very early and gently; no chance to go in hard on the brakes
If you’re taller than 5’ 10”, you’ll not be comfortable. I had to shuffle my bum forward and lean right back to fit my head in.

Oh, and you’ll only have 4 laps: an out-lap; 2 flying laps; and an in-lap. And that really is it. Seriously.

Despite these restrictions, I left the venue with a healthy respect for what Everyman are doing. It might not be my idea of track driving, but I’m simply not their target market. I understand that and accept it. For most of their customers, the experience of merely driving such a car is enough to put a smile on their face. Hell, even I smiled. I just wasn’t delirious.

On the up-side, the instructor was great. Rather than bollocking me for driving too aggressively — I purposely braked harder than he wanted into the first corner to illustrate I knew the marked braking points were ridiculously cautious — he gently requested I even out my braking and asked whether I’d done this before. When I told him I’d done a few track days, he seemed surprised I would bother with the Lambo experience. Almost apologetically, he suggested that “This must be really tame for you, then?” True enough.

Over the following precious minutes, he encouraged me to push harder, but insisted that I take it easy on the brakes. Apparently, the brake pads were standard road pads. From bitter experience, I know this means they need sympathy and a gentle touch if they aren’t to overheat on track. Bummer. At least the instructor seemed to empathise. Anyway, not wanting to ruin others’ experiences, my laps ended up more like dressage than the Grand National (ooh, how topical!).

All in all, I’m still glad I splashed out. If you don’t try things like this, you’ll spend the whole of your life wondering. I’m tired of doing that. So, what’s next on the 2007 checklist? Arrange an ARDS test for my National B Race Licence. Bring it on. :)

Lewis Hamilton: man or machine

2007-04-11T23:17:00.000+01:00

Lewis Hamilton: the next Michael Schumacher. Discuss.

You might think I’m talking about his talent, but it’s more than that. I’ve yet to see anything from the lad to suggest that he’s anything more than a machine. A personality-free zone. Granted, he’s being kept away from the press to a large extent, but whenever you do see him interviewed, there’s so little humanity there. You get the feeling he never really had a chance to grow up properly and, as a result, all the interaction he knows is polite media talk. There is no Lewis Hamilton.

Okay, that might be a little harsh, but honestly, I feel sorry for him. Long term, I also feel sorry for the sport if this is what it takes to win. In so many ways, he appears to be the Tiger Woods of F1. Can Britain ever really take someone like that to its collective heart? I don’t know. Don’t we prefer our sporting superstars to be human? Wayne Rooney, for example. Ronnie O’Sullivan. Jenson Button, even. They’re flawed. And we love them for it. Only time will tell, but on current evidence, I can’t ever see Hamilton putting a foot ’wrong’. And if he’s the ultimate product of the F1 machine, the sport really needs to get some perspective. For now though, I’m holding my breath...

In other news, it’s Lambo time on Saturday. :)

A brief history of me: ages 0 to 21

2007-03-23T00:07:00.000Z

My life, pt 1: It all started with Bo and Luke.

When I was a kid, I used to love the crazy jumps they did on the Dukes of Hazzard. I wanted to be a stuntman when I grew up. I would gather my Blue Peter annuals and such like on the landing and make ramps for my Lego cars to bound over. I lusted after a TR7 on my best friend’s street.

That was pretty much the limit of my automotive interests, though. Motorsport, for example, was barely on the radar. Sure, I’d always got excited at the sound of The Chain and loved watching Tony Pond rallying on TV, but it was far from a religion and no-one else in the family shared my passing interest.

By the age of 14, I still wasn’t much into motorsport, but I still loved cars. I was quite the artist and would draw them at every opportunity. I even had a monochrome rendition of a Ford Capri Laser exhibited at county level. It was ace and I truly regret throwing it out a few years back. Sadly, by the age of 15, my artist skills vanished and I scraped a grade C in GCSE art. Hey ho.

It was around this time that I passed up what I now recognise as having been a great opportunity. My high school had a karting club. A karting club, dammit! It’s just a pity I had so little self-belief that it never even crossed my mind to join. Even now, I’m not the most confident person, but if there’s one place I am confident, it’s behind the wheel. Live and learn, I guess.

Eventually, my 17th birthday arrived and I had to face up to the reality of driving; an activity I’d never considered myself worthy of. Despite some traumatic learning with my Dad, I passed my test first time. It wouldn’t be for quite a while that I’d really start driving, though. For the time being, I restricted my boy-racer antics to the computer. F1GP was a solid favourite and even saw a bit of network play at University. Although I didn’t realise it at the time, it taught me quite a bit about racing lines.

And that’s the thread we’ll pick in the next thrilling installment...

Australian Grand Prix (2007)

2007-03-22T12:06:00.000Z

You’ve got to feel for Heikki Kovalainen.

Watching the Australian GP in the wee small hours of Sunday morning, I was beginning to wonder whether I’d drifted off to sleep and somehow found myself in someone else’s nightmare. Time and again he’d have an off. To be honest, were it not for Kovalainen’s antics, Coulthard’s rush of blood and the possibility of Lewis Hamilton winning his debut GP — well, it seemed possible until Alonso passed him at the second pit stop — this would have been another seriously dull race. As it was, it was merely dull.

So, once again, I question my sanity for watching F1. I used to feel like this when I had my Newcastle United season ticket in the Souness era. In that case, however, I was able to tear myself away and I gave up the seat. With F1, I’ve never been able to give it up and I doubt I ever will. One glimmer of hope for the season ahead: Raikkonen. I really hope he storms away this season. He’s long overdue a smile. :)

Any excuse for a trackday

2007-03-19T12:40:00.000Z

What’s more important: a cousin’s wedding; or the chance to drive a Gallardo?

These days, pretty much any time I find myself spending a weekend South of, say, Manchester, I have to consider the possibility of squeezing in a bit of track time while I’m there. When you live so far out of reach of most UK race circuits, you’ve got to take the opportunities as and when they arise. This time, one of my cousins is getting married in July. :)

Her parents are from the Warwick area, so I promptly got onto BMRC.co.uk and then Google Maps to check out the local venues. Looks like Silverstone and Mallory Park are the closest, at 35 miles and 38 miles respectively. Silverstone, as you’d expect, is hosting a race that weekend (for BARC). Mallory, on the other hand, looks like a possibility, as it’s booked out by Everyman Racing, a driving experience specialist. Sadly, they’re not a trackday company at all, but they do have a Gallardo experience in their brochure. A snip at £99 for 7 miles of driving.

:-O

Ridiculous as that price may be, I’m still considering it. If it’s the cheapest way I’ll get to drive a Gallardo, then maybe I’ll do it. Need to do a bit of shopping around first, though.

Update: Bugger. Turns out I was looking at Mallory’s 2006 calendar. As it is, Superbikes are on that weekend instead. That, however, might not be such a bad thing. Never been to a bike race before... :)

The continuing S2000 saga

2007-03-17T22:40:00.000Z

I really should learn not to speak in absolute terms.

Although I’ve kept quiet about it here, my endeavours to swap the Mini for a Honda S2000 have rattled on since my last post on the topic. One minute it was off, the next it was back on. Rinse and repeat. Today, finally, I got to see the car and take it for a drive. That, however, is where the story ends. In short, it wasn’t good enough.

In the end, it was a combination of factors that put me off:

Rust was developing on the underside of the driver’s door, behind both rear wheel arches and had taken a strong hold on various mounting points in the engine bay.
The wind noise when the roof was up was something to behold. Far noisier than any other soft-top I’ve been in.
At least one of the wheels was badly kerbed and they all needed a bit of love.
The hood had a small tear just behind the driver’s ear.
The inside of the car was in need of a hoover. Nothing major, but it’s a sign of neglect/laziness.
Last, but not least, the seller wanted too high an exchange price — my Mini plus £1500.

Even without the price differential, I wouldn’t have taken it. I’ve had cars before where rust has started to appear and it’s a never-ending, wallet-emptying battle to keep it at bay. I didn’t fancy that again. Nor did I fancy trying to sell-on such a car. The other deal-killer was the noise. It was of the volume that you could cope with on a trackday, but not in everyday use. It would drive me nuts.

It’s all a bit of a shame, really. I’d hoped this would be my low-priced entry ticket into the world of rear-wheel-drive sports cars. And bloody good looking ones too. In fact, the strength of the motor itself was really positive, so I’m not yet giving up on S2000’s completely. I want to find out whether the wind noise truly is endemic to the model or whether it was an aberration on the car I saw today. To that end, I’m lining up a test-drive in another, more local example for next weekend. It’s priced beyond my current means, but the dealer doesn’t need to know that. ;)

Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera

2007-03-10T23:45:00.000Z

My life’s goal has just been redefined.

Ever since it was launched, I’ve been a great admirer of the Lamborghini Gallardo’s style. No, scratch that — I’ve lusted after it. Drooled over it. Just wished I were so rich I could afford one. For me, it’s the embodiment of childhood visions of the perfect supercar; visions inspired primarily by videogames and wild imaginations. It’s... just... perfect.

Or, at least, I thought it was. I now realise that perfection is, in fact, the Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera (that’s “superlight” to you and me). By god, it’s beautiful. Seriously, it’s a wet dream of a car. To think I used to dream of owning a Ford Capri Laser when I was 14 — I even had a piece of Capri-based GCSE artwork showcased at county level once — I clearly wasn’t aiming high enough.

Seriously though, it’s nice to dream, but I can be pretty sure that cars like this will always be beyond my reach. At least in terms of ownership. I can also be pretty certain that requests for a test-drive will be laughed away. So... the only other option must be a track experience. Having already spent £169 of my hard-earned on a frustrating 20 minutes or so in a single-seater, I’m now wary of such packages. I know they’re not great value for money. But if I saw a Gallardo experience... could I resist the temptation? I doubt it. Maybe once I’m done buying this house... :)

Scaling back ambitions

2007-03-06T21:49:00.000Z

Looks like I’m not getting a Honda S2000.

In the end, the seller was looking for a bigger lump of cash than I was willing to offer. I can’t say I’m too upset. Sure, it would’ve been nice, but other factors are starting to determine my next-car policy. I’ve just had an offer accepted on a house I’m looking to buy and had to offer £4k more than I’d hoped. Suddenly, cars worth about £4k less than the Mini are starting to look interesting. :)

In fact, I even stopped off at a Ford garage on the way home to check out a SportKa last night. There’s no way I’d buy from a dealership, but the car was very nice. It was the SE model with Imperial Blue paint — the same colour as a Ford Racing Puma (he says, drooling). They’d clearly raided the Puma parts bin for it too, but it’s still a reasonably attractive option. Not least with evo continuing to rate it.

You might think that a Ka is a major step backwards, but I would expect it to be a short-term thing. And, for once, it would probably turn out to be just that. The more powerful the car, the longer I seem to keep it, so maybe getting a dinky toy for a while would help me achieve my aim of sampling a broader range of driving experiences. The only flaw in the plan is that it’s yet another FF car. As in front-engined, front-wheel-drive, rather than Fast Ford.

Engine and drivetrain layout aside, I wonder what else I can get for 6 grand. I think it’s time I made a list...

Lesson 1: do your research

2007-03-02T19:47:00.000Z

That Honda’s slipping through my fingers, you know.

Turns out the guy selling it hadn’t considered a Mini until I contacted him and, at first, was quite keen to hear more. I supplied all of the relevant information, but made the mistake of not double-checking the market value of my car first. Had I done so, I could have made a far better offer than a near-swap. Mine’s worth about a grand less than I thought, if you look privately i.e. ignoring stupid dealer prices. He might have even bitten at the first contact. As it is, the opportunity’s almost dead now.

Now, I could go back to him and tell him, “Actually, I could drop my car’s price by a grand,” but that might appear a little too desperate — too big a first move. The bargaining power would be firmly back with him. That said, since I enquired, he’s dropped the price of the S2000 by another £250, so he must be getting twitchy too. God, it’s a delicate business, this.

In fact, I think I’m gonna have to sleep on it before I send the next email. I might need a Horlicks, though.

Update: so much for playing it cool. Just 15 minutes after typing the above, I sent the email. I’ve offered to drop my price by “almost £1000” Let’s see how that goes down. :)

Your car for my car?

2007-03-01T23:31:00.000Z

Would you swap a Honda S2000 for a Mini Cooper S? Well, I’m pinning my hopes on someone doing just that.

Recently, at work, a friend has been considering what car she can get to replace her Suzuki Swift. She’s got a £10k limit and a wishlist that pretty much reads “Must be cute. Preferably a soft-top.” After desperate attempts to dissuade her from getting a Daihatsu Copen, I called in the big guns and suggested a second-hand Honda S2000.

Thing is, it kind of got me thinking about them again. A year or so back, I decided it was time for my next car. Yeah, well, best laid plans and all that. Anyway, one of the cars that made the shortlist was the S2000. While my eventual decision looked to be heading towards a 350Z, circumstances change. I’m currently looking to buy my first house and am hoping to be able to upgrade from the Mini soon after. The S2000’s cheaper second-hand values are now increasingly attractive.

Out of curiosity, I went for a quick surf on Pistonheads. Lo and behold, there’s someone there selling a beautiful looking example and after a hot hatch in part exchange. Not only that, but he’s in Scotland so he might not mind my car’s lack of air conditioning. He’s even asking exactly the same price I was going to ask for the Mini. It couldn’t be more perfect. So, an email’s been sent and I’m now waiting (excitedly) for his reply. Let’s hope it’s a match made in heaven...

How essential is competition?

2007-02-21T18:08:00.000Z

One season in the Mini Challenge would cost £25,000. Minimum.

At least, that’s what Gary Robertshaw of Robertshaw Racing (2004 Mini Challenge Clubsport champion) reckoned. Having spoken to other people about it, however, I reckon I could expect to spend double that. Despite the dizzying numbers, a few weeks back I was seriously considering having a go.

I would need sponsorship, of course. I’ve got no desire to take out a loan to fund motorsport — it’s just not sustainable. Funding would have to come from sponsors, at least in part. So, I started to make a list of companies to whom I could pimp myself and the race series. I got information from the organisers of the Mini Challenge about TV viewing figures and their distribution. I started making plans. In the end, though, that’s as far as things went.

The point at which my dreams became grounded in reality were when I spoke to my friend, Gav, about it, maybe a couple of weeks back now. He’s the most enthusiastic guy I know, with a real passion for his own sport: snowboarding. He’s considered doing a season of his own in the past, so he appreciated the financial dilemma. Speaking about my passion for motoring and motorsport, he began to question how much I needed the competitive element to enjoy driving fast. It’s a fair point — the 2 or 3 trackdays I do each year keep me pretty happy. Would I be better off finding a way to dip my toes in the water of competition, rather than diving in headlong?

We came to the conclusion that, for this year at least, I could simply increase the number of trackdays I do. Ten or so should do it. While not cheap, it would cost one hell of a lot less than a season of almost any motorsport and would allow me greater flexibility in the timetable. At the same time, I could apply for my National B Licence (the ARDS test) so that I was at least qualified to enter racing should an opportunity arise. And if I were to get lucky, say as a stand-in driver, it could help attract sponsorship in the future. Even if I don’t luck out, I should still have a great year of trackdays.

So, all that remains is for me to start booking a few trackdays. It’s time I pulled my finger out again.

Off to Geneva again... or maybe not

2007-02-20T18:59:00.000Z

In the words of JeffK... WINNAR!

Last year, I went to the Geneva motor show for the first time (see photos). Afterwards, I filled in an online questionnaire about the experience — I figure everyone benefits from feedback, so why not? Today, as a result, I won a free ticket to this year’s event in their prize draw. Call it karma. :)

Unfortunately, the ticket value is about £6 whereas a return flight would cost over £100. So, I’ll not be going, then. Hardly worth it for the sake of using a £6 freebie. Still, for a brief moment, I felt like the spawniest get alive and was filled with dreams of a triumphant return. Yeah, I know, that’s a bit strange, but what the hell. Maybe next year...

Mucking around in hire cars

2007-02-15T18:53:00.000Z

I confess. I broke a hire car.

No, I wasn’t doing any Top Gear-style malarkey. I was just pulling out onto a roundabout. A busy roundabout. During rush hour. Okay, so I had to pull out quickly, but you don’t expect the car to die of shock. :-/

Yep, earlier this week, I was out of town on an all-too-rare business trip. A colleague and I took an 05-plate Golf diesel (non-turbo) from the company’s pool of permanent-hire cars. The trip to our top-secret destination was pretty uneventful, but when heading out from the hotel for an evening meal and entertainment, things all went pear-shaped. The eventual verdict from Mr RAC was that the fuel pump had gone. The following day, the hire firm supplied a replacement car — a Vauxhall Astra. Bastards.

Still, for someone who rarely changes his car, it was a nice opportunity to remind myself of the motoring landscape beyond the Mini. The Golf was actually pretty decent until it broke down. I wasn’t too keen on the slow steering — actually, it freaked me out — but the rest of the package was ideal for motorway cruising. The extra torque made it a very relaxed journey, the car regaining speed with consummate ease after waiting for lorries to overtake each other.

The Astra was the exact opposite. I surprised myself by liking its steering, but the seating position was pretty nasty. I couldn’t get comfortable at all. And the engine... oh, the engine... it was awful. Absolutely gutless. So much so, I began to feel empathy with lorry drivers who will avoid braking at all costs.

In summary, I can’t see myself ever getting either car, as they’re both far too relaxing. However, if I had to plump for one or the other, I’d take the Golf. Even with its dodgy fuel pump.

Vauxhall and I

2007-02-10T12:10:00.000Z

I blame my parents.

From the age of about 9, I’ve lived in a family of Vauxhall cars. First, it was a gold Cavalier, registration TRG 64 Y (funny how you remember those things). Following that came a metallic blue-grey Cavalier, whose registration plate I’ve forgotten. Following that was a metallic blue-grey Senator. It was at this point that I left home and, while that’s a coincidence, I feel I was well within my rights to protest.

A couple of years back, my dad retired and so the rusting executive saloon had to go, replaced by… a Vauxhall Zafira. It is a truly awful car.

Just sitting in the Zafira as a passenger, it makes you feel sea-sick. It is a car entirely devoid of redeeming features. Until recently, however, I thought the Zafira was as low as my parents would stoop. I was wrong. To go along with it, they’ve now replaced my mum’s trusty, zesty, characterful Cinquecento with… a Vauxhall Agila! Oh the humanity!

There’s a small set of cars that you’d look at and think: “Only doddery old pensioners could possibly think that’s a car worth buying.” Until a couple of weeks ago, I never thought of my parents as being old. Now, however, they’re forcing me to see them in a different light. I’m starting to think I should be talking to them about what kind of funeral they want. Maybe I should be looking into nursing homes?

Perhaps more importantly, though, are these people really my parents?

So much for promises

2007-01-24T22:21:00.000Z

“This will not be my last attempt to get into motorsport,” I said. Right. Three years on and what have I done since? Nothing.

OK, so I had bigger things in my life than motorsport (job troubles, depression, etc.), but I’ve mostly coasted. I even tried snowboarding, dammit. Who was I trying to kid? We all know that the one thing guaranteed to get me excited is the prospect of driving fast. I think it’s time to get back in the proverbial saddle. Let the good times roll.

Cadwell Park: the write-up

2006-11-25T23:33:00.000Z

Yesterday, James and I spent the day blatting our cars round Cadwell Park and, despite a spin each, survived unscathed. All things considered, I reckon that’s a pretty good result. Here’s how it went...

First impressions

The first thing that struck me when we turned up was just how narrow the track was. The videos we’d watched on YouTube simply didn’t do it justice. It looked more like a kart track than a proper race track. The next surprise was finding out that we were using the full circuit, including the Woodland section under the trees. I knew this was a tight, twisty, undulating section of track, so the prospect of doing it in the wet with autumn leaves around was a daunting one.

Once the regulation safety briefing was out of the way, we got out on track for a few sighting laps behind a pace car. It was immediately apparent that learning the best lines was going to take a while. The Mini felt horribly twitchy and the blind crests and curved braking zones did nothing to settle my nerves. Hall Bends were bad enough, but the Gooseneck was another matter altogether. I really couldn’t predict how the car was going to react to my inputs. Scary stuff.

A lap of Cadwell

Once let loose proper, the picture started to come together a bit more. Hall Bends felt ok, provided I entered them on a line that let the car settle before making my first change of direction. The Hairpin and Barn were similarly manageable; while the car would understeer at the slightest provocation, gently lifting off would bring the nose back into line.

Coppice remained a test of nerves and I started the day entering it at just 60mph before slowing to around 50 for the following blind right-hander. My nerves were really getting the better of me there and backing off only made the car even less stable. Eventually, I’d learn that — and learn that I’d been taking too tight a line — and gain confidence, but it took a while.

Charlies presented little or no problem other than a disappointing entry speed and then we were on the back straight, reaching 100mph at the bottom of the hill. Despite keeping it floored in 4th gear, I didn’t manage to put on any further speed before reaching Park at the top of the hill. This was a fairly straightforward right-hander, but one around which the Mini wanted to swap ends (which it did on one occasion).

Next up was Chris Curve, a long sweeping right-hander not dissimilar to Hawthorn’s at Croft. Consequently, despite the high-stakes gamble of understeer near the track’s edge vs lift-off oversteer when I ran too wide, I actually felt reasonably comfortable on the run down to the Gooseneck.

Realising I could straight-line the braking zone helped a lot. Once into the Gooseneck, however, it was a different matter. It really felt like walking a tightrope. I was acutely aware of the Mini’s shifting weight while equally unsure of how much the camber could help or hurt me. I was well outside my comfort zone, but I gradually learned that the corner could help me and began to attack it more.

Mansfield, at the bottom of steep hill leading out of the Gooseneck was fairly simple. From there, all that remained was the left, right, up and over of the Mountain. Even at the low speeds I was doing, wheelspin was guaranteed over the crest unless you backed off at just the right time. I did have one major moment when the back end kicked out wide as I made the right turn, but overall, I was quite pleased at being able to control things.

Memories

There are a few things that will be abiding memories from this trackday. The first was just how greasy the track got. Mid-morning, a couple of rain showers made the track incredibly slippery in the tight and twisty Woodland section. We ended up tip-toeing round, barely able to touch the gas or the brakes. Or turn the steering wheel, for that matter. Turning in for the Hairpin, I kept on losing the back end of the car despite crawling at about 15mph. It was mental.

The second thing I’ll remember was getting to the point where I learnt to catch oversteering slides. When I lost the back end at Park, I’d made the schoolboy error of hitting the brakes. I knew I should have floored it to get the front wheels spinning and match the rear wheels’ lack of grip. I knew that stuff, but it wasn’t instinctive.

Later, after multiple oversteer moments in the Hairpin and Barn, I finally got it. Once again in the Hairpin, I’d entered with a little too much speed and the back end stepped out. I tentatively hit the gas and slowed the spin. I pressed a little more and was now just drifting round the corner. I held it for what felt like an eternity, managing the drift until the car finally settled down and I just drove away towards Barn. No tank-slappers, no fuss... but plenty of hootin’ and hollerin’ from me as I laughed like a maniac.

Finally, I’ll take away the memory of managing to turn into Coppice at 80mph. Earlier in the afternoon, I’d been treated to a passenger ride in a Lotus Elise 111R and been amazed at how well planted it felt. Where the Mini had been squirming around, the tail feeling heavy and threatening to spin, the Lotus just felt glued to the track. Its light weight (860kg vs 1140kg) and lower centre of gravity meant it was never fighting its own inertia.

Anyway, on seeing that its owner could fairly hurtle into Coppice at 80mph while I’d maxed out at about 70mph, I took it upon myself to match him. With an absence of further rain and with the cars clearing the worst of the track’s moisture, I gradually upped the pace in the Mini and matched the Lotus’s entry speed. What a thrill! Coming back into the paddock shortly afterwards, I was grinning like an idiot. That, I realised, is exactly why I pay daft money to do this kind of thing.

Cadwell Park, here we come!

2006-11-19T23:29:00.000Z

Earlier this year, I’d planned to move house to somewhere with a private garage so that I could take the next step on the sportscar ladder. I even had various bits of work done to the Mini to prepare it for sale, including the refitting of standard-issue run-flats. Given my subsequent failure to move, I’ve still got the Mini and the trackday hiatus has become too much to bear. In light of this, Friday 24th sees me heading off to Lincolnshire to take on the challenges of Cadwell Park.

The trackday will probably use the Club circuit, as the Woodland section will be treacherous at this time of year. (Track map nicked from www.msport-uk.com.)

I use the word “challenges” advisedly. Cadwell is often referred to as Britain’s mini-Nürburgring and for good reason. It’s a very narrow circuit, with lots of crests, swerves and alarmingly track-hugging Armco and tyre walls. Parts of the circuit are also underneath or close to trees, which should make it treacherous at this time of year. In fact, I’ll be surprised if we use that part of the circuit at all. One thing’s for certain — I’ll definitely be taking it easier than I have done on other trackdays. I just hope my bog-standard tyres and brakes are up to it.

Single seater experience @ Rockingham

2006-06-24T17:36:00.000+01:00

Last weekend, I splashed out £169 for just half an hour’s driving around Rockingham International Motorspeedway. Am I nuts, or what? The difference this time was that I was in a car with only 115bhp. No wait, the difference this time was that I was in a single seater race car. Well, a sanitised equivalent, at least.

True, it did have only 115 horses, but it was light enough to make this ample. Overall, though, as an experience, it’s one I won’t be seeking to repeat. After the usual safety briefing, my group of 4 was split up between a pair of pace cars (also single seaters). We then trundled out of the pits onto the National circuit in the oval’s infield and ever-so-slowly increased the speed as we got used to the controls. To be honest, the only thing that felt slightly unusual was the 4-speed, extremely short-throw gearbox, situated next to your right hand.

Ten minutes in and we trundled back into the pits, only to head back out in about 20 seconds’ time. The rest of the session was spent gradually increasing the speed, but we never got to the point where we were pushing it. At least, not as I would describe it. If you think backing off the gas on the straights and hardly having to brake is pushing it, then maybe this is the experience for you. For me, it was just plain frustrating.

When our half hour was up, I had to ask a fellow driver whether we now got to drive the cars without the pace car, as I’d been expecting, but no, that was the experience over. What a let-down. I was so cheesed off, I didn’t even bother buying a photo of myself driving round. What would be the point? To show it to friends, saying “Here’s one of me driving a fast car like someone’s grandmother”? Bah and double bah.

Bitterness aside, I probably still would’ve been happy to have paid only 30 or 40 quid for such an experience. Funnily enough, that’s exactly how much they were going for on the day, as the circuit hadn’t filled all available places. Alas, I’d booked in advance via their website. So, if you’re in the area and fancy a quick run out in a car you wouldn’t normally get to drive, pop along and see if you can pick up a last minute ‘experience’. Otherwise, you may as well give it a miss.

Donington: Monsters of Opposite Lock

2006-01-29T20:40:00.000Z

Another trackday, another great sense of relief that I’ve not bankrupted myself by crashing into a Porsche. More than that, though, Donington was a great learning experience.

The trackday used the National circuit, missing out the Melbourne loop.
(Track map nicked from www.msportuk.com.)

All other tracks I’ve driven have been fairly flat, former-airfield affairs. Well, with the exception of Rockingham, but even that was pancake-like. Donington, on the other hand, is full of swoops and sweeps just waiting to catch you out. And catch me out is exactly what they did. None moreso than Craner Curves.

I’d been warned by a friend (and former racer) not to lift off at Craner Curves, as I’d soon be facing the wrong way. Well, I didn’t lift off, but I did overestimate the Mini’s ability to take corners whilst simultaneously underestimating the effect of the track’s gradient changes. Consequently, the car oversteered and lurched sideways onto the grass, collecting half a football pitch of turf in the wheels.

The session was even stopped immediately after that, but thankfully it was down to someone else digging themselves into the kitty litter at Redgate. Still, I’d had only about 5 laps and was having to seriously reappraise my abilities behind the wheel. To borrow a phrase from Martin Brundle, I felt I’d ran out of talent just when I needed it. :-/

Thankfully, I didn’t have any further off-track excursions in the remaining 5 sessions. I did, however, learn one hell of a lot—more than I’ve learnt on my previous 3 trackdays put together, in fact. I learnt to show a great deal of respect to gradients and gradient changes. I learnt that putting your foot on the gas in nervy, high-speed situations can actually make an appreciable difference to the car’s stability (for the good, btw). And I learnt that, if you’re not careful over brows, even a front-wheel-drive Mini will oversteer for England. But I can hold it. Just. ;)

All in all, it was an excellent, educational day. And at just £99, fairly cheap too (we’ll ignore the £100+ spent on petrol and the tyre and brake wear!). Next time, I’ll have to give Oulton Park a shot. The gradients there look every bit as mental as at Donington. :)

Praying for rain

2006-01-20T13:51:00.000Z

It’s winter trackday time again and this time I’m off to Donington Park on Sunday 29th. While the prospect of Craner Curves on a wet circuit may well be one to put your heart in your mouth, I really need a wet track if I’m not to be thrashed by all-comers.

Yes, I know it’s not a race, but it is bragging rights. If I can bag one Porsche and one TVR, I’ll be a happy bunny. Humbling a Noble, however, would be a new experience. I just hope the weather lends me the helping hand I’ll need.

Hot lapping

2005-06-20T15:55:00.000+01:00

Yesterday saw the Mini back on track (Croft) for the first time in almost a year. With replenished reserves of brake pads and rubber, it should’ve been a stroll. As it was, the searing heat made things wilt like I’ve never known before. It was scary.

Perhaps, in hindsight, putting fresh tyres on the car just a week or so beforehand wasn’t a good idea. Hard on the brakes into Clervaux for the first time and the car squirmed around alarmingly. Not quite enough to make me think I’d lose it, but enough to scare me. Back in the pits after a few more exploratory laps, it was clear that the depth of tread on the tyre combined with the soaring track temperature had just melted the rubber. What I first thought was marbles caked onto the tyre was in fact my own rubber, brushed from one side of each tread block to the other. Little wonder the car felt a little unpredictable beneath me.

Then came my salvation: thunder showers. As we sat queued in the pit lane, ready to go out again, big fat globules of rain started pounding the ground. By the time we were released, the track was soaked and standing water was forming. I’ve never seen so many flash cars being driven so gingerly. More to the point, I’ve never overtaken so many flash cars. Whereas previously I’d been the whipping boy, now I was the Regenmeister, picking off all and sundry. The lumpy, melted rubber was shed and the grip was phenomenal — almost as much as in the dry. Only an Impreza driver refused to swallow his pride and let me past.

Sadly, by the end of this second session, the rain had stopped and the track began to dry. I still had another couple of stints before the day was over, but I’d already had the most fun I was going to get. I used to be wary of driving fast in the wet (and still am on public roads), but after adventures in the Michelin Renault scholarship, then at Rockingham and now this, I can’t get enough. :)

Devastating

2004-02-17T18:14:00.000Z

Prefinalists for the Michelin Renault Scholarship have been posted on the competition’s site and my name’s not among them. I knew on the day that I’d messed things up and didn’t expect to get too upset when I got confirmation, but I’m gutted. Absolutely devastated. I had it in me to get through to the next round and I blew it. Threw away the chance of a lifetime. Fuck, fuck, FUCK! :’-(

This will not be my last attempt to get into motorsport.

Michelin Renault Scholarship: there’s always next year

2004-02-05T21:40:00.000Z

Sorry, but it looks like I blew it in Round 3 today. Yeah, I’m gutted. No, I don’t actually know the result. But yes, I did balls it up somewhat. And, frustratingly, it was the driving rather than the fitness that let me down. I guess I should just accept I’m not good enough. Hard to bear. :/

Anyway, here’s a run-down of the day. The driving came first today, with the fitness test following after a lunch break. The first of three sessions on the airfield was an unassisted (by tutor) run around the circuit we were already familiar with. This time, however, the marker cones for braking points and turn-in points had been removed. It took me a few laps to sort out my lines, but I improved enough for there still to be a glimmer of hope.

After the second run, the glimmer had turned into a blinding light. I rocked in the second session. This time, we ran the track backwards, with a detour for an extra chicane and hairpin. Again, we were to get no advice from the tutor alongside us, unless it became clear we’d not picked up the line correctly. To my delight, my tutor didn’t need to say a word and was really quite impressed, telling me “Do that in the next round and you’ll do well.”

Shame I couldn’t reproduce it, then. :( The third and final session was a mock qualifying session, with just 2 flying, timed laps. Although I did my old trick of trying too hard, I was also put off by the car handling quite differently to the one I’d had in session two. Whereas I’d been able to chuck the previous car about happily, this one seemed intent on wagging its tail a bit more and never really settling down. Consequently, it felt like I was fighting for control under braking and didn’t dare put the power on again until things had calmed down. As a result, I slowed much more than I should have done and lost a lot of time. In fact, I got some of the worst times seen on the day, with my best lap being a full 4 seconds slower than the day’s best. That, frankly, is appalling.

And so, in a rather downbeat mood, I got ready for the fitness test: as many press-ups as you can in 2 minutes; sit-ups in a bleep-test style; and the standard jogging bleep-test. Some of the guys were awesome in the first two tests. Two or three were marginally worse than me. Pretty much as expected, then... until the proper bleep test.

The sixteen of us were split into 2 groups of eight. My group got second bash after keeping score for the first lot. My partner, who looked far fitter than me, had managed 4 lengths on level 10, so at least I had a target for motivation. Level 6 came fairly quickly and relatively painlessly. At reaching level 9, it started getting tough. At level 10, I really had to start breathing better. And then level 11 arrived. And level 12. Incredibly, of the eight in my group, I was now one of the last two going. Eventually, we both gave in as the bleep for Round 13 sounded. How mad is that? Mal Ross: supreme athelete! ;) If my addled brain recalls correctly, we even got applause and someone asked me: “So, are you a runner, then?” ROTFLMAO, as they say on that interweb thingy. If only they knew the truth — they’d be so ashamed. :) Mind you, 10 or 15 minutes later, instead of driving the Mini home, I was driving the porcelain bus. Mmmm... nice.

Ah well, even if I haven’t got through — and believe me, I haven’t — I’m still pleased I had a go. With any luck, this time next year I’ll be writing about how I’ve made it to the final stages. In the meantime, it’s back to the track practice. Croft beckons... :)

The Rockingham Report

2004-01-26T22:09:00.000Z

Wow, what a day. What a day! The trackday at Rockingham this last weekend was really something special. I think I’m hooked.

So, where to start? I guess the thing that made the biggest difference from last year’s disappointment at Croft was my brakes. Last time, the car had only standard BMW equipment and the brakes went squashy after just a few laps. This time out, I’d upgraded to Mintex pads at the front, braided lines on all 4 corners, higher spec brake fluid and some prototype cooling ducts from Robertshaw Racing. Needless to say, it did the trick. There was only one point in the final session when I felt them fade a bit. That was quickly fixed by slowing down for a few corners and then I was free to hammer it again. Impressive stuff for a total outlay of around £150.

Another thing that never fails to please is when you get good feedback from those you’re with. Three things stick out in my mind:

Grant’s cry of “SHIIIIT!!!” as we braked late into Rockingham’s chicane for the first time. There’s nothing quite like a frightened passenger to let you know you’re pushing on. 110mph, apparently. ;)
Some old racing driver asking me whether I had an instructor in the passenger seat, because “you’re the only one I saw who’s taking the right lines”. Oh yes, see my smug grin. :)
Jason, a friend from Mini2.com, telling me he couldn’t catch me and that we’d both left Paul, another Mini2er, far back in our wake. Jason even drives a Cooper S tweaked for over 200bhp (compared to my 161bhp), so I was well chuffed to stay ahead.

Actually, I’d better not gloat too much on that last one. Quite apart from it being somewhat unsavoury, Paul’s now booked for tuition, so he’ll whip my ass next time out. But that’s ok — I like a challenge. ;)

Other random memories of the event that I can’t be bothered to weave into a story:

So many fantastic cars to ogle! A hardcore Porsche GT3RS, a GT2, 3 or 4 near-identical Evos, 6 Noble GTOs, a pair of TVR T350Cs, 3 or 4 mad racing Beetles (old style), and much, much more.
So many affordable cars to lap! ;) Actually, one of the most amazing sights of the day came from following a Mk2 Golf GTi being pushed right to the limit. It spent so much time on 3 wheels, you’d think its suspension was broken!
Spinning idiots. Yes, there were a few of them, although none was in a Mini. One Peugeot in particular was being driven by a complete arse. He even managed to spin into a gravel trap on the slow familiarisation laps behind a pace car.
Slow idiots. Overtaking on the day was by consent only. The driver in front had to indicate to the right and pull over, with the faster car passing on the left. Sadly, some drivers didn’t know how to use their indicators, so you’d spend ages behind them getting frustrated before breaking the rules and just passing anyway.
The near miss. Although I got through the day unscathed (and uninsured), I nearly messed it all up. Trying to make my presence felt behind one of the aforementioned slow idiots, I put my foot down a little early on the exit of one left-hander. The car understeered towards the outside and, on lifting off, the back end started coming round, putting a rear wheel in the dirt and twitching the car badly before it regained its composure. Phew, close one.
Blind faith. Part of the circuit we drove followed the banked oval around Rockingham’s turn 4. When you’re doing 95mph, it’s a surprisingly tight curve and you’re very aware of the concrete wall on the outside. When you’re doing 95mph and the low sun’s blinding you and the track’s still wet and slippy, it’s a case of praying to God that you’ll come out the other side in one piece. And so we did, lap after lap. What a rush.

Overall, I’m wondering whether Saturday was the most enjoyable day’s driving in my life. The only competition it has is a drive over the Pennines in the Puma and I’m starting to think even that’s been eclipsed. With the latest kit on the Mini, it has finally, and decisively, risen above the sleek Ford in the kick-ass stakes. Long may it reign.

Time for some practice

2004-01-22T20:12:00.000Z

This weekend sees a chance to get a bit of practice in for the scholarship, as I take the Mini out onto Rockingham Speedway. Custom-made brake cooling ducts were fitted to the front of the car today (courtesy of Robertshaw Racing) and the brakes were pressure-bled to get every last bit of air out of the system. Hopefully, this plus the new pads and braided lines will help keep the brake fluid from boiling, but I’ll need some self-discipline too. Croft, last September, saw frustration get the better of me when things weren’t running too smoothly. This time, I’ll have Grant along to help keep the blood pressure under control. I hope he knows what he’s letting himself in for, mind... :)

How the other half lives

2004-01-18T21:08:00.000Z

After nearly a year with my Mini, I finally got a drive in a Cooper S with 16" wheels last Friday. I’m now pretty sure that my 17" S Spokes were the wrong choice. Bummer, huh?

Before going for the spin (thanks to Gary of Robertshaw Racing, btw), I was only expecting to be blown away by the car’s 200bhp John Cooper Works conversion. I’d completely forgotten about it having smaller rims than my own car. Admittedly, the extra power was pretty bloody impressive too, but it was the feel through the steering wheel that left the bigger impression. The car felt massively more nimble — exactly as you’d expect a Mini to feel, given its many glowing reviews. By comparison, you have to fight against the steering on 17" rims, but there was no such resistance on 16s. In fact, the response was such a revelation that memories of driving the Puma came flooding back and I had to fight off a silly grin.

So then, what now? It rather looks like it’s time to budget for a full set of wheels and tyres. That’s gonna hurt. And then, maybe, there’ll be a small supercharger pulley — the extra urgency of the JCW was something quite special. And then maybe a One-Click ECU modifier. Hmmm... is this the start of a slippery slope into proper performance mods? Maybe... just maybe. :)

Unfit for purpose

2004-01-13T12:13:00.000Z

A few years back, when I still went to the gym, I was having trouble staying motivated. Jenson Button was in the news and F1 on ITV had featurettes on how he was working to step up his fitness to the levels required for the sport. Using that as my inspiration, I pushed myself harder and managed to stay reasonably fit for a while. Certainly fit enough for the karting I was doing at the time.

These days, I’ve got different motorsport-related motivation, but this time I’m starting from a base level of absolute unfitness. Last night, I went out for a jog (yes, in public), possibly for the first time in my life. It’s a good job it was dark — my lungs gave up after less than a mile and I had to stop. Scary! When I got home after a further mile and a bit, my legs nearly gave way when I stopped. I’ve never been particularly fit, but it’s alarming what the last 2 or 3 years of inactivity have done to me. Let’s just hope things improve over the next couple of weeks.

Run, Forrest, Run!

2004-01-09T21:59:00.000Z

Not too surprisingly, Tim Sugden Racing would like me to make a further charitable donation to their next season’s activities. Yes, I got confirmation today that I’m through to Round 3 of the Michelin Renault Scholarship — you know, the one with the fitness test. The dates I’ve been offered are the 4th and 5th of February, so I’ve got... *checks calendar*... 24 or 25 days to get from dead-on-my-feet to Olympic-athlete. Bugger. Better get running.

Being A Racing Driver, pt2

2004-01-06T16:31:00.000Z

Just got back from my second round in the Michelin Renault Scholarship. Much to my surprise, I think I’ve got a better than 50/50 chance of progressing to the third round. I hope that’s not tempting fate, mind.

As with the first round, the morning was split into 4 sessions. The first session was refamiliarisation with the car and the circuit. It was a case of repeating 2 fast laps, followed by a slow lap of feedback from the instructor (Mike Reed, this time). At the end of this session, I was ready to admit defeat. I’d had little in the way of positive feedback and plenty negative. My main problem, it seemed, was my lack of consistency. And poor lines. And poor braking. And... well, I felt I’d thrown it away already.

The second session was more of the same and was, thankfully, better. I even found myself catching another contestant, dropping back to get more room and then catching him again. Even so, I felt I’d improved by only about a quarter of what I needed to do. Imagine my surprise when I was told I was much closer to getting it dead on. Nice.

The third session was intended to replicate a qualifying session with just 2 flying laps on the circuit. These were timed too, so the pressure was on. I managed a 1:23.5 and a 1:22.7, which sounded average to good when comparing with others. I knew I’d made mistakes, mind. I just didn’t get into a rhythm soon enough. But then, that’s what qualifying’s all about.

The final session was there just to make up the numbers, as far as I could tell. A single lap of the circuit, but in the opposite direction to all previous runs. Apparently, they just wanted to see how well you picked up racing lines — not easy around corners marked only by 3 cones. I truly ballsed up the chicane (half of the marker cones were scattered, making it rather hard to spot), but I doubt this session really counted. They probably just wanted to have a fourth session to meet the blurb in the brochure. Hey ho.

Overall, the notes the instructor made sounded reasonably positive despite the bad start, so now I just cross my fingers again. The results will arrive in the post in the next 7-10 days and I’ll copy them here. In the meantime, I’d better get exercising — the next round includes a fitness assessment, complete with the dreaded bleep test (eek!).

MINI2 Karting, Dunston

2003-11-29T17:50:00.000Z

More karting tomorrow and, again, it’s with the lads from Mini2.com. One of the lads even got himself and his car into the launch edition of GoMini Magazine, doing performance tests of his Cooper S. It’s since been heavily modified, mind, so I’m rather looking forward to seeing it again.

Still, flash cars to one side, the karting’s the main thing. It’s been a fair while since I got a crop of bumps and bruises on the indoor track at Dunston. By some miracle, the circuit owner (also a Mini2 person) can’t attend, as he’s down South somewhere on a trackday, practicing for his entry in next year’s John Cooper Challenge. Good job, really — he’d show me up otherwise. :) Even with the main competition out of the reckoning, Dunston’s a hard track to race on. While it’s better laid out than it was under previous owners, it’s still pretty hard to overtake. Add a random grid-slot into the equation and it usually makes for some fun racing. Expect a report... sometime (I’ve given up on promises of punctuality). :)

The verdict

2003-11-29T17:08:00.000Z

Okay, it took an age to post, but here it is — Martin Brackenbury’s verdict on my first round in the Michelin Renault Scholarship qualifiers.

Corners: Good use of all track + good racing lines. Needs to push harder into corners.
Steering: Nice + smooth steering. Good hand position.
Braking: Braking too early for most corners in 1st session; 2nd session, braking too late.
Throttle: Nice power delivery, even in very wet conditions.
Gears: Good gear change, up and down the gearbox.
Overall: Very good to start with, but looked to have got too over confident at the end and started braking too late.
Grade: B (on a scale from A to F)

The comments were pretty much exactly what I’d thought myself. Still, I got through and am looking forward to the second round on 6th January. Fingers crossed for a lack of ice. :)

P.S. The commenting system on this blog’s finally working again. :)

Just a quick note to say...

2003-11-13T21:27:00.000Z

I’m through to the second round of the Be A Racing Driver competition. Seems they couldn’t turn down my next two hundred quid.

Hmmmm... I’m a sucker for this, aren’t I? :)

Whatever, I’ll post a full report of their verdict on my first round soon.

Being a racing driver — almost

2003-11-02T19:42:00.000Z

It's taken me a while to post about it, but Thursday 23rd October saw my first step into the world of competitive racing. Well, a potential first step. It was my first round date for the Michelin Renault “Be A Racing Driver’ competition.

On arrival at Elvington, I got my first bing of the season from the Mini as it announced the temperature had dropped to 3°C. Things didn't really get much better weather-wise, as rain clouds came scooting across the plains and drenched the airfield, leaving standing water everywhere. Despite this, the day was great. My instructor was none less than last year's winner, Martin Brackenbury, and he loved the wet. Good job, really.

The qualification was split into 4 sessions on the cone-marked track. First were 2 laps with the instructor to learn the circuit layout. Next, it was his turn to take the students out for a few flying laps, showing the lines and the sort of pace you can hold. The last two sessions were yours to show what you're capable of. Or at least, how you're capable of improving. Speed wasn't to be the final arbiter.

The first two sessions were over before I knew it and then it was time to do it for real. Things went reasonably well in the third session, although I was trying too hard to be steady and was told I needed to carry more speed into the entry of the corners. With this in mind, I set about my final session in completely the wrong way. Actually, no, I started it reasonably well. Everything was going fairly smoothly, except for one chicane I couldn't get right. On one of the corners, I was told I was getting it “perfect” lap after lap. And then I got carried away.

Remembering the advice to carry more speed into corners, I started braking later. I should've just braked less, not later. Instead, I was now arriving at the turn-in points still thinking about slowing the car down. Rather than calmly looking to the apex and exit of the corner, I was looking at the turn-in marker and trying to scrub off speed. I would then lurch the car in before having to ease off a bit of lock when I looked toward the apex and realised I'd turned too much and was heading for a very wide exit. What a cock-up. The more I did this, the more rattled I got. Before I had time to calm myself down again, the session was over. Given that you're meant to improve over the course of the day, not get worse, this was not the best impression I could have left.

All I can hope now is that they still want my money enough to put me through to round 2. If I have screwed it up, well, let it be a lesson to me. I should find out their verdict in the coming week. Fingers crossed.

MINI2 Karting

2003-10-14T10:31:00.000+01:00

Went karting at Warden Law with a bunch of MINI2ers this last weekend. In contrast to the first MINI2 event, this one was nice and dry and levelled the playing field a little. No more of the 8-seconds-faster-than-the-pack nonsense. It was more like 3 seconds this time. ;)

As well as the guys from MINI2, a couple of friends of the circuit — themselves kart owners — joined in. These guys were quick. They also weren’t averse to nudging the rest of us. Very sporting. Not. Still, at the end of the final, I’d held on to second place, which I guess is fairly respectable. The fella who beat me was, somewhat patronisingly, counted out of the reckoning for the trophy (some codswallop about him taking shortcuts, which he definitely didn’t). At least it meant I picked up another gong to put on the shelves at home. Even if I didn’t win, I can pretend I did. :)

For the record, my best lap time on the full circuit (with the revised Dog Leg corner) was 67.173secs.

Numb

2003-09-17T20:31:00.001+01:00

Today started so well. Nice breakfast, nice early start, and nice weather — amazing considering the rain and gales last night. A brief trip back to the Kylerhea ferry and I was ready to start the route from Glenelg to Gruinard Bay. At last, the time had come. :)

Coming over the pass to Loch Duich, the view was even more stunning than yesterday. I knew I had little time to stop and stare (had to be back home by Friday and I was still heading North), so I pressed on to Eilean Donan Castle and beyond, to Plockton. Realising that photo opportunities inside the village were few and far between (it’s more picturesque when seen from a distance), I made a hasty exit. Rather too hasty, as it turned out...

*CRUNCH*

With a sickening deceleration and the sound of shattering plastic, my reversing — and my holiday — came to an abrupt halt. I simply can’t put into words the anguish I felt upon confirmation of my fender bender. In fact, I don’t even want to try. Suffice it to say that I knew there and then that I had to get home and as soon as possible. Screw the rest of the drive. I was in no mood for anything other than finding a bodyshop to repair the damage. Roughly 7 hours later, I was home.

Tomorrow, I’ll clean the car’s wounds and get myself some repair quotes. Right now, though, all I want is a very stiff drink.

The road to Skye

2003-09-16T22:43:00.000+01:00

Following a decent breakfast, the drive north was more frustrating than flowing. Slow traffic, wet roads and a consistent drizzle all conspired to hinder progress. Rannoch Moor was fairly impressive, although once again, the view was spoiled somewhat by the weather.

In fact, it wasn’t till past Invergarry that the traffic evaporated and the roads dried up. From there on to Loch Duich, the drive was an absolute delight. The open roads, good surface, and gentle curves allowed a steady pace of 70mph+ to be maintained absolutely safely, if not exactly legally. I even hooked up with a similarly driven Audi (complete with Nordschleife sticker on the rear bumper) for the stretch through Glen Shiel. The company was much appreciated and it almost felt rude not to say goodbye when I turned off toward Glenelg.

Nevertheless, a snack stop atop the Mam Ratagan pass soon provided the day’s next smile. An elderly gent parked alongside the MINI asked to look at the car’s interior, as he’d not had the chance yet with BMW’s baby. It turned out his son-in-law was responsible for the design of the MINI’s back end! Apparently, he’s now working on the cabriolet and also the next version of the MINI, due in 2007 (I think). Well I never.

Following the ferry crossing to Skye, the rest of the day was spent trying to glimpse monumental hills through varying amounts of drizzle and mist. The highlight was a seriously windswept tour around the north of the island in early evening. Getting out of the car for the odd photo, it was the sort of weather that made you feel alive. At Duntulm Castle, you even had to lean into the blasting drizzle just to stay upright. Superb stuff.

Along with the fast roads through the glens, it’s these lonely, slow-paced, single-track roads I’m enjoying the most. Hope there’s more of both tomorrow, when I finally tackle the road for which I came up here. :)

Nosh: Lasagne with a side salad, plus a pot of tea at Aros Centre, Portree — worst lasagne I’ve had in my life :(
Kip: Corran Guest House, Kensaleyre — cheap, friendly, but a rock-hard bed
Car admirers: 4 (leaving Inveraray)

So begins the Highland adventure...

2003-09-15T23:07:00.000+01:00

Today’s been a bit of a mixed bag, but it’s definitely ending on a high. First, there was the morning, where the warmth of my bed did its best to convince me I didn’t need a holiday, just a good lie-in instead. Next, once the devilish duvet had been defeated, there was the dreary, headache-inducing drive up to and beyond Glasgow. Upon reaching Loch Lomond, I was beginning to wonder whether the bed had been the better option. Finally, with the weather closing in — this is Scotland after all — came the scenery.

Sadly, most of the stunning views were obscured by cloud, but this just made the approach to Inveraray, my first night’s stop, that much more special. Coming down to sea level, the town’s whitewashed facade stood out like a beacon through the gloom of rain and dead flies. Not quite your traditional picture postcard, but a welcoming sight nonetheless.

Nosh: King scallops, salad, chocolate torte & a cappucino at Loch Fyne Oyster Bar — good stuff
Kip: Lorona B+B — cheap, comfortable and friendly
Car admirers: 1 (B+B landlord)

Things I’m not proud of

2003-09-14T00:26:00.000+01:00

There have been a few times recently that I’ve avoided blogging about something because I feel guilty. Because I am guilty. A couple of months back, for instance, I was lucky to get away with a clean licence after one particular bout of... spirited driving. On an early Sunday morning blast with friends, I absolutely ragged the MINI round a roundabout near Penrith and straight past a police car. I was doing almost 70mph in 2nd, just changing up to 3rd. Were it not for the fact the convoy I was in had dropped back, I might not have slowed down as much as I did. You see, I hadn’t even noticed the car I passed was a police car. I was told later that the cops had followed for a short while before deciding I wasn’t worth it.

The thing is, a police presence shouldn’t be the deciding factor in how fast I go. The road’s speed limit and conditions on the day should be enough to dictate that. Not only that, but how aware can I be of other traffic, if I don’t even notice a police car? It’s rather worrying to think that I will focus so narrowly on the section of road I’m following as to ignore the details of what’s around me. Sure, I knew there was a car there, I noticed its approach to the roundabout and the fact it was slowing to a stop, but I didn’t notice that it was white with a red stripe down the side. What else am I missing?

That isn’t the only example I could have given. Just a few nights back, I let my enthusiasm get the better of me again. Once again, it was round a roundabout. Once again, there was a police car involved. Once again, they tailed me, before deciding they would leave me alone. This time, I’d not broken a speed limit, but I had still driven too quickly. At least, if squealing tyres mean you’re going too quickly, then I was certainly guilty. Arguably, I could’ve been pulled for reckless driving. As it was, the police car only saw me once I was off the roundabout and pulling onto a dual-carriageway from the slip road (the police were travelling on the dual-carriageway). I was probably about 10mph within the legal limit when they saw me, but still about 20-30mph faster than most cars at that point. They would’ve been well within their rights to pull me over. Once again, I’d been lucky.

So, when am I going to learn? What will it take for me to understand this stuff before I make the stupid mistakes? A stern warning from the boys in blue? Three points on my licence? Losing control and killing someone in another car? That possibility just makes me shudder (as it bloody well should do!). I can’t deny that I enjoy the thrill of fast road driving, but there must be a better, safer way to get my kicks. Croft wasn’t it, so perhaps it’s time I looked into tarmac rallies again.

Another one?!

2003-09-10T18:50:00.000+01:00

Good grief. It seems there are a lot more racing scholarships about than I'd imagined. Here's another: F1 Scholarship. I don't think I'll bother with this one, mind. Following my trip to Croft, I know my limits and they're not very impressive.

Then again, the amount of tyre smoke and dust I kicked up during my sideways moment was probably quite impressive. And pointing at 90° to the direction of travel is probably more than a moment, too — especially when it starts at 85mph. ;)

Note to self: upgrade the brakes

2003-09-01T21:10:00.000+01:00

Whew, what a day! Croft was quite something. Not as fast as I was expecting (approx. 105mph top speed), and lacking the edge that you get in a race situation, but it was still pretty amazing. A few things to take home:

It takes very little abuse to make standard-issue MINI brakes feel like sponge
It is possible to achieve fuel consumption figures in single digits (egads!)
The Jim Clark Esses can be taken flat out, but you need to be smooth
If you're not smooth, the result might be that you're travelling sideways at 80mph (gah!)

Pick the grass out of that! (Just as I did when I got back to the pits.)

Countdown to Croft

2003-08-30T23:33:00.000+01:00

Less than 36 hours now before I’m at Croft Circuit, putting the Mini through its paces. To say I’m starting to crap myself would be... well, it would be an exaggeration, but you get the idea. It’s like a child’s anticipation of Christmas, but multiplied 3 or 4 times. I’ll bet you any money I feel physically ill on the morning of the trackday and can’t even face breakfast. I’m sure that once I’m out on the track, all the nerves will just disappear, replaced by nothing more than a stupid, wide grin. Oh man, I can not wait! :) :)

A fool and his money...

2003-08-25T22:46:00.000+01:00

...are easily parted, or so the saying goes. I think it might be true. After all, I’ve only gone and entered the Be A Racing Driver competition!

No, I can’t quite believe it either. :)

Now to get my application form in for the Be A Grand Prix Driver competition. Hell, if you're gonna have a go, you may as well try it every which way! :)

A dream worth chasing?

2003-08-14T14:31:00.000+01:00

I see there’s another competition out there to help you become a racing driver. This one’s a little more expensive, at £200 for each of the first three rounds, but any subsequent rounds and the final prize of a year’s competition would come for free — cars and maintenance thereof included.

Life might just prove too short for me to pass this up. I may well be decidedly average, but dreams are there to be chased. What’s £600 for the chance to fulfil a life’s ambition?

Be a Grand Prix Driver

2003-08-06T11:25:00.000+01:00

Oooh, yes please. :)

Looks like Karting North East's indoor circuit is going to be hosting the regional qualifier for Channel 5 and Exchange & Mart's Be A Grand Prix Driver 2004 competition. Just this last weekend, spectating at Rockingham, I wondered to myself what the quickest route into competition racing must be for someone my age (a creaking 28). Maybe this is it. Just maybe.

Harsh

2003-08-06T10:18:00.000+01:00

Ralf Schumacher demoted 10 grid places for next GP [BBC Sport]
That's a touch on the harsh side, if you ask me. Amazingly, only Ron Dennis tells it as it is for once, putting it down to nothing more than a racing incident. Wonders may never cease.

Mini2North Karting

2003-07-28T13:41:00.000+01:00

Despite the soaking conditions, banana-yellow waterproofs, and being given kart #13, the first Mini2North karting event last Friday was a great laugh. And I’m not just saying that because I won (which I did - wahey!). Everyone had a whale of a time.

Actually, I think that’s the first time I’ve beaten Lindsay in the wet. He’s normally an absolute master in those conditions. I can only assume he had a pretty average kart. I’m pretty sure mine was exceptional too, at least compared to previous rain-affected outings. Even on the slicks, I could attack most of the corners with a fair degree of confidence. In fact, I don’t think I spun once! Even in the dry, that’s a bit unusal for me.

Gary Robertshaw, one of the circuit’s directors, was still ahead of me for pace, mind — by almost 2 seconds a lap. Apparently, he had a coming together with a backmarker near the end and I slipped past to victory. I never saw it, but I’m not going to contest it! :)

RIP Petrolhead

2003-04-21T21:56:00.000+01:00

There’s no point in prolonging the agony. I may as well just put this site into cold storage now. It turns out that I have very little to say about cars and motorsport and all that kind of thing that can’t be said elsewhere. As a result, this site’s being closed down.

Or is it...?

There’s one slim chance for survival. I may convert Petrolhead into a seriously low volume weblog for write-ups of my karting exploits. I would make no promises on frequency of posts or anything like that, but at least I’d get to record the fun I have for later alcohol-fuelled arguments about who won what. Any announcements about such a venture will be made on either minimal or 7days7cars. Or both. But for now, au revior.

T minus one month and counting...

2003-04-08T23:14:00.000+01:00

Okay, I’ll hold my hands up and admit it. This site is dying a slow, painful and very public death. Unless I suddenly start coming up with material to put here (instead of just piling more content onto the revitalised 7days7cars site), I’m going to close this place down properly. Sorry.

Cute baby

2003-03-14T10:03:00.000Z

Is it just me, or is the new Lamborghini Gallardo the most perfect looking car ever? What a stunna!

Gateshead update

2003-03-07T13:48:00.000Z

Some bugger beat my February arrive-n-drive lap time. By 0.07secs. Arse! :(

Best possible start?

2003-03-07T13:40:00.000Z

Jacques Villeneuve qualifies in third place for the Australian Grand Prix. As Murray himself might say, “Faaaaaanntastic!” A strong BAR outfit complete with the cocky confidence of a back-on-form Villeneuve is possibly the best thing that could happen to F1 this year. Forget most of the technical changes, Jacques’s the man to deliver excitement on and off the track. Bring it on!

Gateshead, 16th Feb 2003

2003-03-02T23:26:00.000Z

So then, my first spot of karting since July 2002. Long overdue.

Taking a couple of laps to get familiar with various circuit changes and, indeed, the whole experience of being back in a kart, I noticed I was failing to pull away from Lindsay. Belated Christmas present or no, my competitive instinct kicked in. There was no way I was going let that continue. ;)

With overalls flapping like a WW1 fighter pilot’s scarf, I set about February’s arrive-n-drive lap record in my usual ragged manner. In fact, I really need to remember to tuck the overalls into my socks next time I go to Gateshead. A couple of times, when coming into the first hairpin, the overalls caught on a bolt somewhere near the brake pedal. Cue a reduced ability to slow the kart down and a few very sideways moments as I threw it around the corner. I’d like to claim that this was the reason for my spin half way through the session, but... well... that was just me asking too much of the kart. :)

As the space-time continuum continued to be stretched, making the 10 minutes on track feel like half an hour, I began to realise just how little blood was making its way to my fingers. The rut across the start-finish line was also making its presence felt on my spine, with the usual egg-sized lump developing nicely (and painfully). A few more laps and, mercifully, it was over. Getting out of the kart, it became apparent I could barely move my fingers. Just to make it worse, they hadn’t even had the grace to go numb. Instead, they just hurt like hell, proceeded to get pins and needles, and then swelled up into Michelin-man hands. Ah, the sweet pleasures of karting. ;)

Sweeter than that was the print-out of lap times. Previous best for February was 29.12secs. January’s (winning) record had also been 29.12secs. Best time on my print-out? 28.72secs. Bring it on! Must remember to go back in March and check to see whether I was beaten. If not, it’ll be time for a free session. Yee-haw! :)

Neglect (of this site)

2003-02-28T10:47:00.000Z

Good grief. Over a month without an update. Coincidentally, I took delivery of the new car just over a month ago. I wonder whether that explains it. I’ve also missed every bit of motorsport action going, so that might explain it too. I have, however, been karting twice, so it’s about time I wrote about that. Just a mo...

Xsara fillips

2003-01-27T01:13:00.000Z

Various things conspired this weekend to ensure I missed every bit of the Monte Carlo Rally. Tonight, I finally got around to checking out the result and what a result! The fact that Loeb excelled doesn’t suprise me, but to see both McRae and Sainz immediately up there on the podium was a shock. So much for all of the “out with the old, in the with the new” stuff that was being written in the motorsport press when Solberg won the Rally of GB. Long live the old flesh! :)

P.S. Sorry about the shockingly bad headline. You’d think I wrote for the 4car rally newsletter or something.

Happy days are here again

2003-01-16T13:23:00.000Z

Got an enticing leaflet in the post yesterday. Karting North East have a special offer going at the moment - £25 for half an hour of karting on their superb Warden Law circuit. The format is that of a mini-GP — 10 minutes of practice followed by a 20-minute race, with a trophy to the winner. It’s about time I added to my collection. (If any workmates read that last sentence, I was only joking, honest! Please don’t punt me off! :)

BTW, if you don’t fancy the sound of racing outdoors in the current weather, there’s always the indoor circuit in Gateshead, where they’ve got a similar offer on.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you

2003-01-16T13:14:00.000Z

That stuff about the Stig, while attracting more hits to this site than I’ve ever seen, was just a scurrilous rumour. Or so everyone’s telling me. Even one of the Top Gear pages points out the following:

Nobody, not even the crew, knows who the Stig really is. However, I can reveal that he’s a bit on the short side and he speaks with a strong French accent.

Doesn’t exactly sound like Perry McCarthy, does it? Hey ho.