The not-so-Mini adventure: a retrospective

For the past couple of weeks, a pile of receipts has been sat next to my computer, representing pretty much all I have left after 5 years of Mini ownership. I’ve even still got the original specification sheet and receipt. Hard to comprehend just how much of my life these things cover. Five years. Christ, I was a different person five years ago. I was still in my twenties for a start...

But that’s enough of the melancholic introspection. This post is meant to celebrate my not-so-Mini adventure, replete with blog-based flashbacks. While I’ll probably never look back on it as fondly as I do the Puma — first loves and all that — the Mini was a very capable, very special car. For starters, it was the first (and so far only) car I’ve taken out on track.

• Flashback: before my first trip to Croft
• Flashback: report written after the event

Actually, it turns out that many of my fondest memories of the Mini are associated with trackdays. Perhaps not that surprising when you consider its suspension was much happier on a smooth surface. On anything resembling your typical, broken-surfaced British B-road, the car struggled to maintain contact with the tarmac round the corners. Even once I’d swapped the original 17" wheels for the vastly superior 16’s, it couldn’t fix it entirely. Pity, because the back roads are exactly where the car should’ve shone.

• Flashback: my first drive on 16" wheels

Tracks, however, were another story. Tracks and wonderful roundabouts like the one at Cowgate. ;-) Actually, to be fair, there were some roads where the Mini felt completely at home. You’ll probably know them by this simple name: Scotland. Aaaah... the bitter-sweet memories come flooding back. In September 2003, I decided to take a driving holiday to the highlands and islands of Scotland’s West coast. How could I go wrong? It was, allegedly, the finest drive in Britain. I’ll let the flashbacks tell the story:

• Flashback: day 1 of the Scotland trip
• Flashback: day 2 of the Scotland trip
• Flashback: day 3 of the Scotland trip

And so this retrospective moves onto a less happy note. Before the Mini, the closest I’d come to bodyshop work was getting a spot of rust fixed on the Rover’s passenger door. In the past 5 years of Mini ownership, however, bodyshops must’ve taken close to £3500 of my business. A new tailgate, 2 new rear bumpers, 1 new front bumper, a resprayed bonnet and wing, a new bonnet stripe, a resprayed front bumper, and 2 refurbished wheels. Jesus H. Makes me sound like a danger to the public, doesn’t it? I swear, only the damage from the Scotland trip (tailgate and rear bumper) was my fault. The rest was down to jealous chavs, careless pensioners, suicidal felines, and poor workmanship.

Let’s get back onto the chronological trawl through happier moments. January 2004 saw me back on track, this time at Rockingham with a bunch of guys from Mini2.com as well as the usual trackday clientèle. Although we got only about 3 sessions on track and the first two were tempered by a wet track, Rockingham turned out to be a great, great day. Possibly the best I ever had in the Mini.

The car was kitted out with decent rubber, decent brakes and a decent passenger — all essential trackday ingredients. Even so, my engine was (as ever) entirely untweaked, so it was hugely satisfying to keep up with the Works Cooper S of a fellow Mini2er. Better than that was a racing driver, on tuition duties, mistaking me for a fellow racer, as my lines were so good. As compliments go, they don’t come much better than that. :-D

• Flashback: the full Rockingham report

Soon after Rockingham, I failed to make the grade in the Michelin Renault scholarship and gave up on my dreams of motorsport. Instead, trackdays were to continue to be my fix. June 2004 saw the Mini on-track once again; my second outing at Croft. This one must’ve been relatively uneventful, as I don’t remember much about it. Then again, it did provide me with possibly the best keepsake I’ve got: 2½ minutes of glorious video...

Wonderful. :-)

Then life got not quite so wonderful. In late 2004, my job was really getting me down. I was stressed, I was ill, and I ending up quitting without having either another job to go to, or the confidence to get one. The Mini was proving to be the one thing in my life that still put a smile on my face. My soon-to-be-former colleagues knew this too and, bless their cotton socks, they got me a half-day trackday as a leaving present. Croft 2005 turned out to provide another of the most memorable moments in the Mini’s history, as it overcame the handicap of melted tyres to beat all-comers in a summer thunderstorm. Absolutely amazing and just the tonic I needed at the time.

• Flashback: hot-lapping at Croft 2005

So, 4 trackdays down and plenty more to come. Another four to be exact: Donington; Cadwell; Snetterton; and Croft again. Looking again at those names, it reminds me of how many times I span the Mini on track. First time was on my very first outing at Croft (as you’ll have guessed, if you read the write-up). Rockingham and the next two Croft outings passed without incident. As each trackday had come and gone, I’d learnt more and more about the car’s handling, but I was beginning to plateau. I knew the tracks hadn’t really been that demanding. I couldn’t keep on going to Croft. I needed a track with gradient changes. Donington beckoned. :-)

For me, Donington first grabbed my attention in 1993, courtesy of a stunning drive by Ayrton Senna in the wet. Since then, both touring cars and bikes have made me gasp with amazing moves coming down the Craner Curves. The idea of putting the Mini through the same was both exciting and terrifying. In hindsight, I perhaps should’ve been more terrified, as I might not have spun on that very section of track. Then again, it taught me a valuable lesson, as did several very tail-out moments over the brow at Coppice: there’s always more to learn.

• Flashback: Donington: Monsters of Opposite Lock

With that very much in mind, I sought out further new experiences. June 2006 saw me take to the track in a single-seater at Rockingham before I got back into the trackday swing with a trip to the daunting Cadwell Park in November.

• Flashback: Cadwell Park, here we come!

As luck would have it(!), it was a wet day too. While I’d grown to appreciate rain on trackdays as being a great leveller, I have to admit, the thought of a wet track at Cadwell did worry me a little. With some sections of the track being tree-lined, it was a recipe for an expensive off.

In the end, while I did spin gently off at one point, it was out in the open and no harm was done. More than anything, it was just a little embarrassing. Oh, and there were other moments of extreme joy at Cadwell, but you can read the write-up for them. Suffice it to say, I continued my learning at Cadwell and I’ll definitely be going back there some day. :)

• Flashback: Cadwell Park: the write-up

Soon after Cadwell, I started preparing the car for sale, reverting to bog standard run-flats and standard brakes all round. That was at the start of 2007. While I very nearly did an exchange deal for an S2000, it fell through due to that car not being up to snuff. My response? Let’s go have some more fun. So, on went the maddest brake pads I’d ever used — Mintex F4R racing pads — and off I went to Snetterton. Okay, I admit, I chose Snetterton partly because I thought I was in there with a lass from that area, but that proved to be folly. Hey ho. At least I was expanding my repertoire of tracks.

Sadly, I didn’t really rate Snetterton and it was easily the most costly trackday yet, coming in at about £800, all in (brakes, accommodation, fuel, etc). The circuit was incredibly dull and, while the brakes were absolutely incredible, my tyres were rubbish. There might be more positive things in the write-up, but to be honest, I can’t be bothered to re-read it myself:

• Flashback: Snetterton: the debrief

And finally, as they say in that there TV land, it seems only fitting that the Mini finished its trackday adventures back at Croft, where it all started. I don’t remember too much about it except that it started badly, got much better and then finished really badly, with me wearing the Mintex pads out completely and destroying my front disks. I’d only had the pads for about 2 weeks. Must be some kind of record.

• Flashback: Croft pt4, reduced to a bullet point

So, there it is. I was hoping to write something more interesting than a review of all my trackdays, but it appears that’s all I really remember the Mini for.

Actually, no, that’s not fair. I also remember friends I made through Mini2.com, having gone on many meets with the Northern contingent (including 2 or 3 of the trackdays). Dan (aka cannybob) and Lan were often companions near the back of a train of 30 or so Minis, scooting around country lanes. They were great, nice and relaxed. Paul Donkin (aka Dink) was also a good mate and is the one person I’ve just about kept in touch with. Well, nearly. He drives an insanely nice car these days, the jammy bastard.

Plenty of other names spring to mind too, but I doubt they remember me, except as the one who kept on winning the karting (hehe). And then, of course, there’s Tom (2) and Ben (1), sons of some good friends in Manchester who took a shine to the Mini. Great taste, lads.

All in all, the Mini was a good little car. On track, it was superb and I’ve got very few complaints about after-sales service (the free servicing helped), but I’m still not sure I made the right choice in getting it. In October 2005, I very nearly traded it in for a Clio Trophy and I still wonder whether get the Clio Cup back in 2002 was really the way to go. I’ll never know.

Regardless, I seriously enjoyed having a car that I learnt to hustle and, while I’m still getting to grips with the Zed, I miss that chuckability. Who knows, one day I may even get another. In the meantime, farewell NG52WBV — you were a great little car. *wipes away tear*