Motors and Me

Many years ago, my mother established the tradition of getting me a motoring-related calendar for Christmas. She’s still doing it, despite the fact I’ve told her I have no use for calendars outside of Outlook. The best thing I can say for them is that they usually put a nice picture on a small area of the wall for a year. Unfortunately, in 2003, that picture will be of a Formula 1 car. All year round, I’m going to be reminded of how little I now enjoy a sport that used to have me captivated. From time to time, I’ll even get to smile wryly at the Arrows F1 car staring out at me. *sigh* You know, I really don’t enjoy F1 these days. The only thing about it that I can look forward to is Jacques Villeneuve venting everyone’s frustrations or making a stupidly daring overtaking manoeuvre. That man personifies everything that used to be great about the sport and now he’s pretty much the only fire left in its belly. Shame, damn shame.

...he says you should have been a racing driver. And almost means it. It’s either that or he’s trying hard not to sack me. ;) Whatever, it was a nice ego massage. I’ve also made a strong mental note of his (drunken) offer of a drive in his Impreza P1 at Croft . I wonder whether he remembers saying that...

Well, dear reader(s), it’s nearly Christmas, so it must be time for each motoring magazine’s Car of the Year issue. (Beware: spoilers ahead!) True to form, both Car and Evo have theirs out at the moment. For someone like me with a vested interest, these issues are compulsory reading. Of course, I’ll only buy them if my car (or prospective car) does particularly well, but then good memories are better than bad ones, aren’t they? First out of the blocks, it’s Car magazine , the title for enthusiastic motorists who still know where their pipe and slippers are. Actually, in Car magazine, it’s their Performance Car of the Year issue, which suits me down to the ground. So then, where does the Cooper S come? Fourth. “Not bad,” you might think, “fairly respectable, I suppose.” Then you look at what beat it. First was the Zonda C12S, followed by the Ferrari 575M and then the awesome Mercedes SL55 AMG. “Holy shit!” you’re now thinking. “The Mini clearly didn’t stand a chance against that ki

Did you see Faking It last night on Channel 4? This week it was the turn of Phil Deane , a videogame tester, to receive a month of training to turn him into a passable single-seater racing driver. Did he make it? In a word, no. The guy was a complete idiot whose opinion of himself was elevated so far above everyone else’s it was unreal. I would’ve killed for the chance that ungrateful fool was given. Hell, I’d give my right testicle for just a day’s driving at Rockingham , let alone a month of it. Tosser.

I really should’ve blogged about this earlier for the sake of a few told-you-so’s later on, but here goes: the BMW Z4 is a fantastic-looking car that will become a future design classic . That’s right, you heard it here first. Well, provided the motoring press in your part of the world hasn’t already changed its mind, that is. Yes, despite the fact I’ve yet to see one in the metal, I’m in awe of the car already. I think I heard someone describe its styling recently as looking as if someone had attacked it with a machete and I couldn’t agree more. But what wonderful swordsmanship! I honestly can’t think of a car that’s struck me by its magnificence as much as the Z4. The thing belongs in a design museum, not on a car dealer’s forecourt. Viewed from the side, the proportions have an echo of the Jaguar E-Type ... but it looks better. The rear end, something that many manufacturers seem to have particular difficulty with, is one of the best-executed I’ve seen. The three-quarters vie

Did I mention that I’m in the middle of dusting off my old 7days, 7 cars site? No? Well, I am. Once that’s done, however, it’ll be packed away in little polystyrene wotsits and bubble-wrap and all future car-related content will be appearing here. Don’t you just love rationalisation?

I see evo magazine has taken delivery of a Mini Cooper S for its fast fleet this month. Interestingly — for me at least — they’ve opted for the larger-than-standard 17-inch wheels, having only tested the car on 16’s previously. There’s been plenty of debate about their different handling characteristics on mini2.com , so it’ll be good to see what a bunch of motoring journos makes of them. At least they reckon the bigger rims look the part. :)

Okay, so the supposed September launch of this section never happened. Nor did the October one. It’s unlikely it’ll happen in November either, but I may as well post things into Blogger’s database regardless. Here goes... First off the bat, the arrival of the Cooper S has been brought forward nearly 3 months. It should now be ready to pick up on the 20th January 2003. Hurrah! Secondly, I’ve changed its spec a bit. Out with the air conditioning (it always was an impulse choice anyway) and in with a bodykit! Boy-racerdom, here we come. ;) Thirdly on the Mini front, I’ve decided the car’s really going to need a name. Best so far is Biffa (as in Bacon, of Viz) on the grounds I want the car to look like it’s asking “Did you spill my pint?”. ;) Now for some non-Mini news. I took the Puma out for a drive today. Just a drive, not really going anywhere, despite heading in the direction of Kielder Water. The journey was interrupted many a time to try out the digital camera. Just as the sun w

250 days to go till my Cooper S is delivered and already I'm swooning over Hamann Motorsport's tuning options . This could be the longest 8 months of my life. :)

Another month, another batch of glowing reports for the Mini Cooper S. Some choice quotes: “Everyone agreed the Cooper S was more fun to drive than the Boxster” – Auto Express “No other hatch has the same combination of outrageous talent and depth of ability” – Auto Express “Like it or not, the Mini has a world-class chassis and the Cooper S’s extra power has brought it to life” – evo “Right now, the Cooper S has staked a claim to be one of the truly great hot hatches. It’s the real deal. Question is, can you bring yourself to believe it?” – evo It’s reassuring to know that pretty much the whole of the motoring press reckons it’s a bit special. Not only that, but concerns I had about my choice of 17-inch wheels have been alleviated by others on the Mini2 forums.

Hello, is this thing on?